Oh you can't make love on a tandem;
It's just an awkward sized sort of bike.
I suppose you could conceivably
Make love on a full sized trike,
The very idea
Of on a tandem.
No you can't make love on a tandem,
Just give yourself a fright;
Maybe get some broken bones
If the balance wasn't right,
And you both fell base over apex
Onto the cold solid ground.
I suppose you could try on grass
But the wheels just wouldn't go round
Much as I like
The very notion
Don't forget the need
For constant forward motion
No you can't make love on a tandem.
It would be a sort of hell.
Trying to maintain balance and rhythm
While pedalling as well.
And another thought
Comes to me here;
You'd still have to steer.
No don't even try
Much as you may like
For you can't make love on a tandem
It's just an awkward sized sort of bike