Here i am
confused again
looking within
wondering what i did
and i sit here
shaking
quaking
faking it
not making it
misunderstood
you call me a demon spawn
you call me a pompous ass
I'm a Hyde now
to your Jekyll
and all i can do is say i tried
so look at my face
that i sno longer the same
look closely if you want and see
the outside is nothing to what you did
what you've done
what I've become on the inside
from what you said and what you did
I'm torn
apart
broken
beyond repair
standing strong
alone In a world that throws me away because i don't belong
and don't crave to fit in
for all this messed up business
I can tell you many things about me
but why bother
you'd rather judge and learn the hard way the lessons you never learned
on how to be a proper mother
brother lover or father
so spit it out
send me another letter of hate and spite
tell me I'm a nobody
a loser
an abuser of endless ramblings and we will never end the fight
Look at me
this is no longer who i am
no heir and i don't care
its all been taken away
and on the soup
they know cause i told them
how things have gone awry for me
and i remember everything about the games we've played
the names I've called and the people who stuck their noses
in places where the ought not to be
my suffering never ends
and i have no umbrella
to shelter me from this hail storm of anvils
but I'm a looney spending all of my time overdosing on your sanity
i wish i wish i wish i had something to say to you
other than I'm glad your not me
The world is different to me now
i smile less often for it takes less energy to frown
my goals are shrinking away and fighting you all is impossible
and here is not where i wish to stay
i will go on and do my thing
i will move on and say my piece
i will ask for tolerance to allow me to be me
but as deaf as you re you wont listen to me
You've broken the chains in my heart and set my rage free
the crime of the century and i saw in the mirror
how all of u must have seen me
all the shock and awe
of what you didn't understand
the truth you didn't know
and lack of compassion for his fellow man
and as I lay there in my hospital bed swallowing pills
singing songs about ducks and how they sing
i knew it wasn't going to get easier
but hey that's my life lesson i supersede
Now as you look at me and see i am a person with an alter ego
a person with an illness
a person with a haunted past where blood spilled three times
and was stalked for knowing facts
if only you knew the nightmare I've been living and how this hate mail
and ignorance is just a piece of what the world has done to me
and how i beg the gods to not allow me into eternity
but lets look at this eye to eye and let me say
what if I was the one to lead you to world peace?
what if i was someone to save you from your own damnation's
\and give you a hand
what if i was the one god training and had a plan
for man?
well you changed my mind
you hate me and now i see what i must do
i must change everything from a to z and mask my feelings to
no longer do i need to be upset or cry the way i do
get upset or cut myself or come unglued
no longer do i need to come back to a world where they have no clue
no longer do i need to be around such blissful ignorance
and remember when you look at me
after all of the addictions I've gotten over
I'm still an adult but inside there i am trapped
a 15 year old confused little kid
so what have you taught me holy man?
what did you say to me about me and my rump?
what words did you leave in my guest book about my face?
why Did this start and why are you all out of joint?
you know nothing
you are no one to me
you are an outstanding loser and that's what you will always be
a non existent crime scene
and i pay the tithe of my wills and the price
for the seas of the tides of change
say what you want but now nothing will be the same
For all of you who never knew me
and didn't care
look into my face that is or isn't there
hear my name
and think
it just isn't fair
and understand with this illness inside of my head
all the words you did and she did
and they did
and everything i did
that made them say them
so who am i?
why am i here?
why soo much attention?
why all this synchronicity?
you know nothing dear abusive idiot
You are somebody with issues and less stable than me
For those who don't know me and never gave me the time of day
go to the sundial clock wherever it may be
and look at my face
and see what i may or may not have to say
