I want to be hopeful
But I am worried about being bitter.
I want to speak for all human beings
But I can escape that I'm a white chick.
I want to be a leader in the world
But I am ashamed to say to anyone
That I am an American,
Because,
It falls off my lips with
Venomous distain,
Too many crimes are committed in
Our name,
So now when our name is spoken,
We are beginning to rival Hitler.
All I have is my passion
All I have is my vision
All I have is this love that beats in my heart
And wants to die
And be crushed
When I see anyone who is oppressed
And feel like a kindred spirit to them.
But am afraid to reach out because of the color of my
skin,
Because I am not Ghandi, or King, or Mother Theresa…
I feel ashamed
Because I don't
Have yet
The Courage,
The Resolve
The Self Image
The Determination,
To reach out,
Other than by these
Pitiful words
Called poetry.
I call people out
Because I need to call myself out
I have not been arrested for my beliefs
But I have been fired for them.
I have not been beaten for anything so noble
As the men and women who came before
Me did…
These words are like ash
In my mouth,
And I wonder
If I need to be beaten
Or arrested
In order to say these
Things,
These feelings
That I feel in my heart.
I don't have the oppression of my skin.
I am bisexual and invisible
To opposing sides, and not seen by either.
I live in the bisexual limbo in between.
I am pagan,
But I am invisible because I don't wear my pentacle.
I am a woman,
But because I am white that doesn't really count,
And
Society prefers it that way.
I pass and it's my privilege because of my skin
And I feel somehow dirty and guilty
Because of it.
So if I can use it,
For any good at all
I swear I will.
I swear before the Gods
I swear before all that is holy and good
I wear before you,
If I can use it,
For any good at all
I will.