My head is battered, my heart is sore;
I begged of God to not give me any more…
Any more pain, and any more strife;
But just a little peace for the rest of my life!
I don't mind the problems that I have to bear,
Well ok, so I lie, I guess I think it's a little unfair!
But today as I was shopping, right there in the isle;
I started sobbing really badly, and sat there for a while.
Then I tried to dry my tears, but they wouldn't stop!
So I sat and cried some more, in the middle of my shop!
It was out of the blue, I had no idea why…
As I trundled around the shops, I would start to cry.
But I guess my dam broke, and I guess I was surprised,
As I sat there in tears, raining from my eyes!
Then a friend who saw me came over to me;
Bent down to my level, I'm in a wheelchair you see…
She whispered to me that it's really ok to cry;
And to let it all flow, and to not question why.
So I unleashed the dam that had built up inside;
Let the tears fall from eyes that have cried…
Cried so many tears over the years gone by,
There always seems a reason for me to cry.
But this time I was shocked at the way that they fell,
Right out of the blue; oh I felt like I was in hell…
And the tears that I cried today, for all that time;
Came about because of news that wasn't at all fine!
You see I rolled over in my bed fast asleep one night,
And woke up in agony, oh woe I got a fright!
I had to get an ambulance, my doctor so said to me!
So off I went in the ambulance; to hospital I'll be!
And the doctor there was a sweetie, that's true!
He was as nice as nice, and did what he had to do.
Pumped me with morphine to control my pain!
Oh Lord, oh God, it was driving me totally insane!
He did the x-rays to see what he could see,
And the result of those, oh woe, oh woe is me.
He told me my spine wasn't fractured like I thought it had;
And I remember thinking that's good, that's not too bad.
But his next words instilled in me such awful fear,
My spine bones were breaking off, my head wasn't clear…
Then I started laughing and giggling, and joking about,
The news hadn't hit me just then, of that there's no doubt!
I must have dismissed it as nothing almost right away…
And carried on like it was just another good day!
Then just 3 short days later, just like that!
The fear had hit me and knocked me flat!
I tried to drive home, but I failed in my quest,
Phoned my daughter, I wasn't at me best!
She told me to go there; she was waiting for me;
So I went for a talking to, she's a star you see!
And she told me she wasn't surprised at my call;
Because osteoporosis is crumbling bones after all!
But no-one ever told me my bones would break!
Oh Lord help me, my sanity's at stake!
I never thought about it, I didn't you know!
As far as I was concerned, it's a problem that won't go!
So I accepted my lot, and got on with my life;
But here I am this day, full of fear and strife!
I spoke to my doctor, and we had a crisis chat;
Then I hung up the phone and that was that!
I came home to my abode and cried all night,
Oh woe is me; I look such a terrible sight!
Then I talked to my Rich who told me not to fret,
Everything would be ok, we are stuck with what we get.
So then we had a laugh and I felt better for that!
One thing about me, I'm not easily knocked flat!
So I put down the phone, and dried my eyes;
Calmed myself as I raised up my eyes.
And spoke to this Icon, asked this God of mine,
To help me be strong, until the end of time!
And help me to face each day as it will arise;
To help me to focus as I looked to the skies!
So now I need Him once more, to walk at my side;
Help and support me, and be my guide.
Show me how to be strong, and to see it through,
To face every day head on, as only I can do.
And when I see one set of footprints I won't question why;
For my God is carrying me, supporting me, way up high,
And if I so flounder, I shall look to Him for support,
Should I fail to stay strong, help from Him will be sought!
And if I feel weak, and if I wail and cry in sorrow;
I will ask my God again, to get me through a new morrow.
And each night as I lay myself down for sleep;
A new inner-strength; inner-peace for me will seep…
And carry me high, as high as high can be;
For I have the strength to do it; it is deep within me!
And I will continue in my quest to stay as strong as I can!
With all the love and support from a very special Man!
And yes if I need to, I will always shed a tear!
Because they are given for a reason;
God allows us to cry!
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