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 heartunes

WARTS AND ALL


Unaffected, neutral, kind
That doctor of mine
Who's helped me 28 years
Seen me cry the tears
That I can't help let flow
When depression is all I know

It's difficult to see beyond
The sleepy yawn
Or tormented sleep
Where dreams do creep
Back to the pain
That's leaving me slightly insane

With worry and doubt
Affect that shouts
I'm drowning in
This worldly sea
Throw me a life preserver
And for God's sake rescue me

My warts are on the inside
That's where the emotional pain
Stays to ride
There in my soul
To hell on Earth
It takes a toll

I cannot live in the storm
Need God's sun to keep me warm
Not trapped in the belly
Of the beast
Will devourer me to the bone
Leave me thinking I am in this place alone

I am a woman child of God
Although I am odd
It doesn't matter
He listens to beyond the chatter
His faith that I will live is understood
And that is the good

Today that I can see
As this medicine prescibed is helping me
To have delight this cloudy day
If the rain comes it's okay
I can take it
With warts and all to make it

Another 24 hours
Where many dark castle towers
Shadow the sun
Of God's will being done
The will of him I live for
When God's bright I give more

The thing that stays
Is when he prays
Right there with me
The words set free
This darken spirit
I know in prayer God does hear it

My human cries
To realize
All have concern
So do not burn
The candle at both ends
When constant prayer sends

The holy spirit deep
I have the aides to leap
Back into this life
Without so much strife
That takes me down
Where I forget God's arm around

This mind
Is divine
His divinity
Sets this pain free
To see again
Although I sin

There is my repentance
My heartfelt sentence
The sins are forgiven
God knows I'm weak and still living
Because he has work for me to do
He gave me a praying doctor in you

That door to come to
When I cannot go through
Any other day it's seems
As physically my body screams
Help me with these warts inside
Alone in there they hide

Where I don't share
Can't seem to care
About myself
Poor health
Leaving me to cry
I really don't want to die

With the denial, anger, depression
Bargaining with the confession
Acceptance is where I need to be
I am still here---God's will for me
Back to seeing the blessings
As I write these confessings

Perhaps understood by mortal man
Whom through the Lord will understand
We need God's hand to reach for us
Have the faith in that trust
That nothing will happen today
Hope, Faith, and Love are here to stay

If we believe
Dry up your tears and leave
The sadness in your soul behind
Pretend your happy and you'll find
It will become real
So take the pill

The doctor ordered
Don't be cornered
In the doubt of Satan
Because God he's hating
And even God would take him back
If repentance he wouldn't lack

This convoluted poem
Written because I know him
My faith is good
Another human being understood
That I am weak
Although the King of Kings I seek

Here every night and day
As I wake up to pray
The warts will leave
Acceptance will come as I grieve
To learn the lessons
Of all these confessions

That come alone
On Earth Day in this quiet home
As Mikkayla cleans a pup
God's warm sun shines filling up
This desperate person
Who sees again death's worse than

The life God to me he's given
So I can be living
In the holy love
Sent from God above
Down to his spiritual woman here
Because the holy spirit's shared...

...God's love is the best medicine
It will befriend
Me pass the ugliness
And I won't have to guess
That I'm unworthy with these words inside
Instead I'll ride

Into the light of God
I am not odd
But God's woman
Lost hope coming
Not forsaken
Again awaken

To read a book he gave me
The goodness there to enslave me
Where I will work
To stop the hurt
That leaves me crying
Not to be dying

When God is all around
He's in the doctor that I've found
Who prays for me
Who stays for me
To heal within
These warts of sin

By comprehending
God is befriending
Me, just like you
His love the truest true
I'll ever find
To heal the mind

Of little girl lost
Paying the cost
Old and weary
Is not so scary
Because as I am whining
Heavenly Father's light is shining

Into this spirit
The prayers he hears it
You do too
Now not so blue
To live what God's will brings
Heartunes that sing

God's gifts in me he gave
So some old woman could be saved
Every holy moment
Even in this life's torment
Turning away from doubt to face
God is love---live in that grace.


4/22/2007 1540 cj







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