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 childhood abuse (my story using rhyme)

No End

There comes a time in everyone's life,
When they sit down and start thinking about whats wrong and right.
But its unbelievable how many times it's done,
You come to the same conclusion yes there is only one.

You look at yourself in the mirror,
You cry as you see your face.
You think back to all the years,
When your life was an utter disgrace.

You think as an adult,
When at the time you were a child,
So many who's whats whens and hows,
So many serious whys.

It's impossible to remember,
When the time has past you by.
But that is it, there will never be an explanation,
No matter how much you sit and cry.

Its horrible to be an example,
Of a child so young and scared.
All the bad memories,
Some times i pretend i was never there.

But it will never end for me,
This cruel life I'll remember till i die.
But whats the use of crying,
It happened i can not lie.

the horrible memories of that monster,
I will take unto my grave.
There is nothing that can change these things,
But the rest of my life i can not waste.

I want to give up all the time,
But my eye's they can not cry.
I want to carry on beating this,
I have really got to try.

There are so many demands i have to face,
So much I've got to do.
I will not end this without a fight,
I refuse to choose to lose.

Some days are an up hill struggle,
Its unbelievable how i manage to cope.
But that's it that's all i can do,
No time to sit and mope.

The frightened child inside me,
Her screams are horribly loud.
She wanted to be a better person,
She's sorry she never got to feel proud.

She will always return to haunt me,
This little frightened child.
Pulling at my heart strings,
Throwing memories into my mind,

But anyway that's enough for now there really is no end,
There is nothing more i can say to her so she can see that I'm her friend.
Its not that i don't remember and it certainly doesn't mean that i don't care.
Cos i am the exact same person just older and wiser, but i too was there.

Copyright 2008 Natalie Rawlings

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