Sink into my big blue eyes
And bathe a while in their admiration of your beauty.
Your charm I will never have.
Your gentle-mannered touch I cannot imitate.
For I am a boastful Monster of conceit;
A Man no less.
Bursting at the seams
With idle bragging and testosterone.
I drink until I'm bloated, smoke 'til I'm hoarse
And scratch your soft loving skin
With clumsy calloused hands.
I laugh the loudest at the bar,
My laugh though tinged with guilt, my mind aware
Of your embarrassed silence next to me,
Fingering car keys impatiently.
Please be patient with me for I am learning
To let slip my dead Father's mask
And see MYSELF in the glass.
I have feelings, emotions too.
I have the love you look for
But wait until it is ready,
Until I have buffed it to a brilliant shine.
So please be gentle,
Do not let impatience furrow your brow.
Just wait a few minutes
While I slip into something more comfortable..
The real me.
