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First Loss. (M.P.Bridger)


Sitting on that bed of softest grass
Surveying the escarpment below,
We did not speak aloud, our chance had gone,
Killed by the confusion in her mind.
She did not want to hurt me,
Letting me down gently her aim.
Though as we set out that morning
Walking those hills with silent misery
Punctuated with lame joking remarks,
I already knew she wanted out.
Out of my arms, my heart and my life.
As we sat exchanging silent apologies
On the summer breeze,
My mind tuned in with the birdsong
And inwardly I thanked the whispering caress
Of the wind gently threading through the long grass.
It seemed to soothe my pounding head,
Cool my burning blushes and mask my disappointment
But could not help my aching heart.
That was something new,
It had never been broken before.
In my mind I asked a passing cloud
If it knew how I could mend it,
For my youth, innocence and misplaced trust ensured
That I did not have a clue.
I cast a sideways glance at her face,
Her beauty shone downwards at the ground
Wearing a mask of frowning sorrow.
The walk back took forever,
Each footfall encumbered by the heavy silence.
We parted that day as friends
Though those bewildering feelings of youth
Were abandoned on that hill for eternity,
To be scattered on the knowing breeze.

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