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 childhood abuse (my story using rhyme)

Do they understand?

I stand in judgment of my families eye,
I begin to tell them i must not cry.
Ive wasted my tears for too many years,
I need them to know why.

Mum i must tell you what your brother did to me,
Whilst left in his company alone as can be.
He did things to me that you couldn't ever imagine,
He hurt me real bad the pain is left hanging.

Mammy stop crying i know you feel bad,
But its over now i just want a hug.
I dealt with the hurt from the past until now,
I love you mam i do not wish to row.

I know you'll stand by me i know you'll be there,
I know your different now and you always show you care.
I do not blame you really there's just questions i must ask,
Please listen and answer honestly so a little i can relax.

Brothers please listen you really must hear,
I know my words hurt, that hurt i felt for years.
I need you to understand i need you to see,
I need you to help, please boys help me.

I know you don't want to hear what i went through,
But if you don't you can not understand what i do.
You think that i am silly when i try and take my life away,
But you haven't a clue of what i am dealing with every single day.

You are both older by two years and three,
I need you to share the views on things i see.
I am not hurting you boys i love you both to bits,
I'm glad that your my brothers I'm proud to be your sis.

Sister stop crying you are not to blame,
You have no reason to hang your head in shame.
There's five years between us you have on me five years
You were older and had your on life i just want to be heard.

You mean the world to me and i know that you will listen,
Even though it hurts you never ever diss me.
Your an inspiration i wish that i was you,
I hate the way my life went i hate being someone who was abused.

Just give me a hug sister and i promise I'll hug you back,
I need to know you understand so i can just relax
The good points about you i could right a list
I am glad your a part of my life I'm happy your my sis.

Nana please don't say that you will end your life,
I have to see justice served and put things right.
I know he's your son and you don't want to believe,
But he did these things and a sentence he must serve.

If bampi knew only half he would turn in his grave,
I know it hurts you but that monster you can't save.
He needs to pay for what he has done to me,
I need you to stand strong as strong as can be.

I have hurt you all badly but the truth had to be told,
If i held on to that secret any more my life i would of sold.
I couldn't deal with it anymore the pain was getting worse,
I need my family to help me through, my head is close to burst.

So now you all know there's no more for me to say,
I am dead inside and in part you all did play.
I ain't blaming no one but that is how it stands,
So do you, do you really do you understand?.

Copyright ©2008 Natalie Rawlings


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