I Bet My Backside…
I bet my backside tomorrow…
I'll read these words of mine;
And feel a total fool again!
Cos I bet these poems aint too fine!
But while I'm feeling woozy,
And now me pains nearly all gone!
This is when it gets real mad,
And I really have some fun!
Cos I love to play around with words,
Well, I'm a girl, so what you expect?
You shouldn't take us females for granted;
Cos nothin's circumspect!
Wow, that's a good word aint it!
I think it looks dead posh!
And I didn't look in the dictionary you know!
Cos that's cheatin', golly gosh!!!
And one thing am not ya know!
Is a liar or a cheat!
Cos if I did any of that stuff…
I can't run away; cos I aint on me feet!
But I've got wheels ya know!
Yep, and my chair goes real fast!!
A whole 5 miles an hour, phew!
And I get going at a blast!
But I always run over feet ya know!
Well, only one pair I have to admit!
And that's me 6 foot sons'…
And he often has a flippin' fit!!!
But I always tell him, I do!
‘Son, you hate your big feet!'
‘So I'm doing you a favour!'
‘Making them small and really neat!'
Well you'd think that he'd be grateful!
But he don't and he can't half scowl!
And if I wasn't his mother!
I bet he'd use words so foul!!
But we always have a laugh!
And we really do have fun!
That's my 6 foot baby boy!
And his ruddy mental mum!!!
What can I say, you gotta laugh at life!
Specially if I'm ya mum!!
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