This story is graphic and not intended for children
It had began a perfect summer day, Stan,
myself and our two boys, ten year old Eric
and eight year old Dustin, had gone to
visit my sister Helen and her husband Hank
at the lake, they lived in the city but
had a vacation cottage by the lake about
twenty five miles from our home, My sister
and i had a special bond as many siblings
do and Stan and Hank were as close
as brothers.
I was now in my ninth month of pregnancy
and was complaining about my aching back
and swollen feet but the boys had seen
an advertisement for a circus that was in
town so we all climbed into Hank's van and
headed off.
We stopped at a buffet and had a late lunch,
i was just happy to be with my sister, i
didn't get to see her very often, then it
was off to the circus, the boys were excited
and enjoying themselves but after a little
while inside the tent, the air became muggy
and stale, Stan and i left the boys with
Helen and Hank and went outside for some
fresh air.
We found a grassy spot and sat down to
enjoy the breeze coming in from off the
lake, Stan and i began to talk about
the baby and the last minute things we
needed, If I would have had even an
inkling of what was going to transpire in
just a matter of two short hours, wild
horses could not have pulled me up off
the ground, but soon the circus had ended
and as Stan pulled me to my feet he
lovingly embraced me, said i love you and
gave me a kiss on my cheek, It was
then that we noticed a thick fog rolling
in from off the lake.
By the time we found where the van had
been parked, night had fallen and visibility,
because of the fog was just about nil,
we had a twelve mile drive back to the
cottage, but with the fog being so dense
the drive back would be much longer
than it had been coming and an uneasy
feeling crept over me.
Stan, Eric ,Dustin and myself were sitting
on a bed in back of the van, Dustin had
became anxious and got up to peer out
the sliding door window, Stan sat him back
down on the bed and told him to say put,
i knew he was concerned too.
Then Stan, i suppose thinking that he
might be able to see better with the side
door open, opened it, leaned forward and
looked out, at that very moment Hank saw
a faint light and knew it was his street,
when he turned onto it Stan lost his
balance, and fell head first onto the
highway.
I can still see it as if it had
happened yesterday, Stan screamed for help,
an automatic reaction, He was a big
man and his body actually bounced and
rolled when it hit the highway.
Being by a fire station people appeared
to help carry him off of the road and
Eric sat down and cradled his dads head
in his lap, nothing seemed real, not the
blood pouring from his head, puddling on
the side of the road or it oozing from
his ears and nose, his screams snapped
me back to reality and they still echo
through my head, as if it had happened
only yesterday, I did the only thing
i could, i wrapped my arms around my body
for fear it would shake apart and i began
to pray.
Our children who had witnessed this horrific
scene were taken to relatives who lived
nearby, an ambulance came and i rode in
the back with him as the paramedic urged
the driver to "go a little faster" Stan
was moaning faintly now, his eyes fixed
in a vacant stare, when we arrived at
the hospital he had become deathly still.
Hank and Helen came in shortly after,
other family began to arrive, some how
they were getting there dispite the fog,
i had been seated in a room alone with
desperate thoughts racing through my head,
I knew his injuries were serious it would
most likely take him some time to
recuperate but my selfish mind was fixated
on the possibility that he might not be
there for the baby's birth.
Just then Stan's father came into the
room, He said honey, I just saw him,
there doing all that can be done but
I don't think he's going to make it,
I'm so sorry, I know how much you love
my son, I love him dearly too. Stan's
father was a big man, his emotions rarely
displayed, but now his body quivered,
and his tears fell like rain.
We were sent up stairs to the I. C. U.
waiting room, specialist's came and went
throughout the night but not one of them
ever looked me in the eye ,I was now
having contractions, my feet so swollen i
could barely walk, one person at a time
was allowed in to see him for five minutes,
each hour.
His body encased in tubes, a ventilator
pumping, it was just this morning, we
were laughing and so happy, his mouth,
the corners of his nose and his eye
lids had now become blue, my handsome
Stan, his eyes the most beautiful shade
of green I'd ever seen, a shock of
curly hair and a smile that would melt
even the coldest of hearts, bits and
pieces of memories, so many special
moments we had lived, now flashed
through my mind.
My thoughts went back to when we
first meet, i wondered why such a
gorgeous guy would be smiling and
introducing himself to me, a skinny,
shy teenager, i was floating on air,
I whispered in his ear, honey you've
got to fight, please don't go and
leave me alone, you promised we'd be
together forever, I can't make it on
my own, my contractions became stronger,
i couldn't have this baby now, not here,
not like this, not without Stan.
He now began having convulsions and his
entire body shook violently, our family
minister came to pray with us, words
that seemed from a far off distance
were being said, things about exstensive
brain dammage and donating organs, i
went into the bath room and washed
my swollen eyes with paper towels, i
couldn't listen to these robotic doctors
anymore, they all spoke in cold clinical
terms, what in the world is wrong with
them! couldn't they see, didn't they care
at all, that my life was falling apart?
I escaped one final time to Stan's room
and i began to tell him just how much
the boys and i loved him, what a
wonderful husband and daddy he had always
been and that our love for him would
live on, something time nor circumstance,
could ever change.
And that's when i saw them! "tears"
began to trickle down the corners of
his face, i knew then, that he had
heard every word that i had been
whispering in his ear and this was
the only way he could convey his love
back to us, i laid my cheek against
his cold, damp face, the heart monitor
now became silent with a flat line,
with no more words spoken, we said our
last goodbye.