Me body's achin', me bones are sore!
I can't go on, can't take any more.
Me tummy's bloated, me eyes are red!
I'm in so much pain…I wanna stay in bed!
I'm feeling narky! I've just battered the cat!
The kids have run, I can't have that!
Me head is flushin', I'm hot all over!
Me life is not…a bed of clover.
I've got water retention, and cryin' fits!
Me life is really…the total pits!
Menopause, what a joke, life is so unfair!
Men get away with murder, they just get thinning hair!
First we have P.M.T. then, the menopause!
Being a woman it seems, holds a special clause.
Well not any more for me, I've got rid of all me pain!
No more crying; no more upset, no more going insane!
HYSTERECTOMY! What a word! And if I come back again,
It won't be as a man, and it definitely won't be a dame!