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FEELING IT AGAIN


What am I going to do with you?
I dress up for work to look
Great for you in the morning
You call in sick
I don't know how many times
This has happen before
And I think why dress up for him
It really doesn't matter if I see
Myself as a lady
I will not be one in his life
He has his Marie at home
And every Monday I will hate him again
Love him with me
Hate him without me
When is he ever going to see
He is losing this woman
To the one at home
I don't care how much he says he's mine
He doesn't prove it by living there
And the longer he stays away
The stronger I become
Without the bum
Of them living together.

Feeling it again
Now it's a new week
Maybe I should tell him
To stay away for a couple weeks
To stay with her the woman I detest
She has to be his best
Because I am not
Only caught
Up in this one act play that's never ending
I'll be spending
The rest of my life alone in this love
Being disappointed
While she's anointed
With his presence sleeping there at night
It flat is not right
I have to get out of it somehow
Get a new job away from him now
Where he will fade into the past
Like a love gone bad that doesn't last.

Where do I go?
To Seattle to my brothers
Back to the nursing home that wrecked my back
Move to the coast and get sad from no sun
How do I make leaving him fun
Instead of crying
And applying for a place in his life
It ain't going to happen as his wife
He rather live with some old dry up cow
Who's ready for the bone yard now
And it's really hard
For me to not think of pushing it
The thing that give me these fits
Of jealousy and want
He's only here to haunt
You with her
As they go on as they were
I cannot take it
We are not going to make it
And I better learn to go back to alone
Because with me he's never going to have a home
To even share his space with me some cold day
Marie will always be in our way
And I feel it again
You're cheating on me living with your friend
Even if you sleep in separate rooms
Just being there brings those dooms
To our relationship
Tired of being under the whip
Of Marie
Where he cannot see
That it's uncaring
To be sharing
His life at all with another
When I am his loving lover
Who has to learn to let go
Of wanting a full love from him so

Fly away out of here
Look for a new job
I tried to make it clear
That I am being robbed
Of all that we could be
Because he has to live with
His old lady at home named Marie.

Feeling it again
The selfishness of him
The doubt and rage inside of me
Somehow, someway you set him free
Be not bothered
Nor slaughtered
By the grown up attitude he has about it
He can stay there shout it
That he is my guy
And as long as she is in his life
It's always going to be a big fat lie
That what I  comprehend
I cannot pretend
That it's all okay
As he goes home to live with her most every day
It is a sin as far as I am concerned
A sin in my eyes that he will never learn
He is not nice
You are not all sugar and spice
But that's okay
At least you do not put another man in his way
Like he does
Because
He doesn't know what love is
It's not loving one woman and living with another
That's only the kind of thing to smother
All the love I have inside
Where in this poetry I can hide
And I do
As long as I love you.


6/18/2007 0430 cj







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