If I was a cabbage,
I'd mooch around all day,
Chasing slugs off me leaves,
Cos they always wana play!
But they don't play too nice,
Cos they eat holes everywhere,
And I wouldn't be able to run away…
So it really wouldn't be fair!
So anyway, if I was a cabbage…
I suppose I'd do alright,
I mean after all when's said and done,
I suppose the slugs would die of fright!
I would wana be a deep green cabbage though!
Cos they have a lovely sheen,
Them others look all wishy washy…
But I'd look great in emerald green!
Me mam told me I was born under a cabbage,
Hmmm, I wonder if I'm a cabbage patch child?
It wouldn't really surprise me though,
Cos I was always running wild!
I loved to legit round the park,
And mess about in mud…
Me poor mam just couldn't cope,
But I never expected she would!
Cos I really was a handful you know,
I was always climbing trees…
And you may think that's normal,
But I was well into me teens!
So if I was a cabbage,
Me mam would have had such peace…
Cos I wouldn't have been such a cow as I was,
And she'd have had much release!
…But…
Since I was born under a cabbage…
I'm afraid that's what I am…
And if you don't believe me…!
You can always ask me mam!