Absent Minded
i wish i was dead
i am unimportant
so heres my deathwish
since im going to be uninvited to all of my dreams no matter what i do
since i sit here everyday waiting for everyone else
since all i do is think crazy stuff and it drives me to tears
since i think my friends are out to kill me
and the love of my life is a cheater
since love hurts more than a broken bone
and my broken brain is just everyones game
since my paranoia is everything i have left
I wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
never born
never thought of
no twinkle in my mothers eye
no flash in the pan
nothing to say
nothing i could have said
i wish iwas dead
i wish i was dead
since all i do is feel hated and angry
upset and ugly
like i cant compare
and everyone is better than me
sice im better off the minority that everyone throws away
since i feel there is aheaven im not invited to
i want to blkame god
but im tired of doing that
i dont get why i was born to be tortured
I wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
never an honourable mention
never the centre of attention
cant afford to pay for myself
i just wish these circles in my head would stop
wish this ride would end so i could get off
wish i would stop double guessing everyone
I used to be scared of dieing
i used to be afraid
i used to think it mattered if i never saw another day
but no one saw me in the hospital
no ones going to be at my funeral
since all i get on the internet are deaththreats and ripped off
since life around me doesnt understand me
all of the time
and no ones been there for me
I wish i was dead
iwish iwas dead
itruly do
seasonal depression of dirty snowflakes
and ugly flowers of angels hair with thorns orr whatever
i want out of my nightmare
im my own worst niughtmare
i know you want me dead too
i know im better off sleeping all day
ighnoring the nightmare of screaming sirens
i wish id turn the radio off
forget the nightmare of the moviers i watch
i wish i could stop crying from all the feelings i have
and the good things i want
I wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
but i never get what i want
im still breathing
im still alive
im still sad
im still here sitting in this hot apartment
im still hurt inside with no one to talk to
imagining the worst of everything
wasting my time of this footprint no ones going to remember
why was i born if not to die?
why am i taking my time?
just eat sleep work and poop
id rather die
none of my dreams come true
and then when they sort of do they are soo far from hopw i thought theyd be
i enjoy them and everything goes wrong
im tired of my headspace and illness
im sick of my thoughts and self
i wish i was dead
i wish i was dedad
iwish i was dead
and never had to come back
wish i never existed
like it would make any difference
actually i wish the world could see just how insignificant or important i am
and then decide wetrher or not they need me alive
and maybe then
actually nevermind
i wish i was dead
i hate all these emotions us humans feel
im glad your not me
i hate my heart cause it always hurts
i hate being alone
i hate having noi worth
i ahte being abeggar
i hate being poor
i hate having no talent
and calling my illness a gift of creativity and thinking im smart when all everyone does is ragg on me
i wish i was dead
and the world had to go back to living without me
like i could be erased
and then one day the future would know how stupid the past was for under rug sweeping the loser i am
and maybe with me gone it would be a better place
so heres my deathwish
since im going to be uninvited to all of my dreams no matter what i do
since i sit here everyday waiting for everyone else
since all i do is think crazy stuff and it drives me to tears
since i think my friends are out to kill me
and the love of my life is a cheater
since love hurts more than a broken bone
and my broken brain is just everyones game
since my paranoia is everything i have left
I wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
never born
never thought of
no twinkle in my mothers eye
no flash in the pan
nothing to say
nothing i could have said
i wish iwas dead
i wish i was dead
since all i do is feel hated and angry
upset and ugly
like i cant compare
and everyone is better than me
sice im better off the minority that everyone throws away
since i feel there is aheaven im not invited to
i want to blkame god
but im tired of doing that
i dont get why i was born to be tortured
I wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
never an honourable mention
never the centre of attention
cant afford to pay for myself
i just wish these circles in my head would stop
wish this ride would end so i could get off
wish i would stop double guessing everyone
I used to be scared of dieing
i used to be afraid
i used to think it mattered if i never saw another day
but no one saw me in the hospital
no ones going to be at my funeral
since all i get on the internet are deaththreats and ripped off
since life around me doesnt understand me
all of the time
and no ones been there for me
I wish i was dead
iwish iwas dead
itruly do
seasonal depression of dirty snowflakes
and ugly flowers of angels hair with thorns orr whatever
i want out of my nightmare
im my own worst niughtmare
i know you want me dead too
i know im better off sleeping all day
ighnoring the nightmare of screaming sirens
i wish id turn the radio off
forget the nightmare of the moviers i watch
i wish i could stop crying from all the feelings i have
and the good things i want
I wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
but i never get what i want
im still breathing
im still alive
im still sad
im still here sitting in this hot apartment
im still hurt inside with no one to talk to
imagining the worst of everything
wasting my time of this footprint no ones going to remember
why was i born if not to die?
why am i taking my time?
just eat sleep work and poop
id rather die
none of my dreams come true
and then when they sort of do they are soo far from hopw i thought theyd be
i enjoy them and everything goes wrong
im tired of my headspace and illness
im sick of my thoughts and self
i wish i was dead
i wish i was dedad
iwish i was dead
and never had to come back
wish i never existed
like it would make any difference
actually i wish the world could see just how insignificant or important i am
and then decide wetrher or not they need me alive
and maybe then
actually nevermind
i wish i was dead
i hate all these emotions us humans feel
im glad your not me
i hate my heart cause it always hurts
i hate being alone
i hate having noi worth
i ahte being abeggar
i hate being poor
i hate having no talent
and calling my illness a gift of creativity and thinking im smart when all everyone does is ragg on me
i wish i was dead
and the world had to go back to living without me
like i could be erased
and then one day the future would know how stupid the past was for under rug sweeping the loser i am
and maybe with me gone it would be a better place
Comment On This Poem ---
i wish i was dead
i wish i was dead
