I've been thinking about how sad I have been,
All because of my fears of late;
I let them grow into a mountain!
By being so afraid of my future fate!!
You see it's a little like this,
My bones are not what they should be,
And a few months ago, something happened,
That's put the fear so great in me!
The problem that I have of many,
Is a bit of a weakness of bone!
They crumble a lot; misshape, a bit,
And at times they make me cry and moan!
So as I was saying before,
Something happened one night,
I awoke in agony at 3am…
And it gave me a terrible fright!
So I thought that my spine had fractured,
Cos it did that many years ago,
Hence the fact that I had to succumb;
And into a wheelchair I did go!
But this time was different, oh yes!
Cos I hadn't fractured my spine,
No, but a load of bones had broken off!
And I wasn't feeling fine!!!
Cos no-one told me they could ya know!
Nope, I had no idea this could occur,
Oh, I knew that they were crumbling,
I think it's safe to say the pains a nightmare!!
Now 5 days after I was told this news,
I fell apart out at the shops,
I sat in the middle of the shopping mall,
Couldn't stop the tears falling in huge drops!
Then I think it hit me in the face;
The shock of my life from then on,
Yep, it's been hell, and always will be,
And life just wasn't any fun!
So I thought, and though and pondered,
Scared to think of the future ahead;
To know they're breaking off all the time,
Face me with a future I did so dread!
You see, the pain is a little bit bad,
In fact, I am not dealing with it too well,
Nah, I'm going to be totally honest!
This pain I live is sheer blasted hell!!!
So now I am a couch potato!
Because as long as I sit and so nothing at all!
I have better pain control that way,
But being like this isn't my call!
…My call in life is to walk the walk,
And give strength to others about!
Now how can I do that, when I'm like this!
Cos I faltered, oh, without a doubt!
So I thought about the future,
And the fears that grip me tight,
This can't go on, on no sireeee!
Not without another fight!
I will not accept negativity in my life!
No way, no how, it won't; cos I swear!
I will fight this fight, with all my might!
And pull from deep down there…
…Deep down there, in my gut!
Where I keep all that strength of mine!
And from this day forward, I can say to you,
Peace and acceptance are now mine!
Now I'm afraid of the future, of course!
But I have a wonderful man at my side,
And as long as he stands right next to me,
Then I will accept my fate with pride!
Because I am proud ya know!
Of the walks I've walked and still do!
Cos I've always beaten all the odds!
And you should all try to beat your odds too!
So yes, I'm afraid of the future,
I hate to think of my bones breaking off,
But as I say, there will come a day soon;
When I will accept it totally, cos I'm tough!
It takes time, but I have the time!
And I have the determination true!
To fight the fight, with all my might,
And finally accept this health state too!
________________________________________
You see, I still walk the walk,
I still talk harsh talk...
And that's what helps me through!!
I am living proof ya know!
And if you can see it – you can believe it!
So believe it, cos you're seeing it!
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