When I die and if I go to heaven
I seriously hope they don't have a 7-11
Now I am not talking about the 7-11's here in the UK
But the ones I visited when I was in the USA
Now granted they sell great beef jerky meat
But why can't I go in there with just bare feet?
And they sell loads of soft drinks in super size cups
But I always prefer pints in pubs
But what really annoys the heck out of me
Is their constant badgering for ID
I don't even smoke but my lady does
But when I try and buy them they cause such a fuss
They wouldn't even except my UK driving license
Said they only expected American forms of ID, what utter nonsense
And when we wanted to hire out a DVD
They wanted so much information out of me
And they sell gas or petrol as I call it
At weird fractional prices that just don't fit
Now I know they're useful for midnight snacks and smokes
But this ID thing is not one of my top ten jokes
Maybe it's just me being an old grumpy moaner
Or just the 7-11's in Oklahoma
So sorry 7-11 you're just not my mate
I prefer my numbers to go 7 then 8.
