Mixed Emotions

I have come so far,
I have done so much.
I have kept on going,
I have been so tough.

I have been so stupid,
I have been so bad.
I have hidden my feelings,
I have felt so sad.

I have tried to help,
I have tried my best.
I have been there for people,
I have shown them love and respect.

I have been horrid,
I have lowered myself.
I have no self respect,
I have failed with the rest.

I have held on so tightly,
I have smiled my way through.
I have given my all,
I have refused to lose.

I have hurt myself badly,
I have become my worst nightmare.
I have been evil,
I have not been there.

I have tried my best,
I have not yet succeeded.
I have become like the rest,
I have no self believing.

I have come to the end,
I have given up on the fight.
I have realized no matter what i do,
I have never been right.

I have faced this so bravely,
I have fought to the end.
I have believed in myself,
I have been my best friend.

I have beaten it so far,
I have done all i can.
I have fought to the end,
I have not yet run.

I have not thought to leave,
I have not choose to run.
I have not let it drain me,
I have finally won.

Copyright ©2008 Natalie Rawlings

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Mixed Emotions