The Black & White Poet

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i just want one to find me

And love
And being loved
Has been so hard for me to behold
So hard for me to find
I suppose, I am picky
I suppose
However, I don't seek perfection
I don't look for flaws
I simply want you
I simply want to be found by you
I'm so sick of looking around and around and around…
I crave romance like there's no tomorrow
I do everything to perfect myself
Without being unrealistic
I debate constantly on what I should do
Where I should go
Who I should give up on
Constantly pulling my hair out
Wondering what's wrong with me
And why you hate me, you dislike me,
And you, over there, you ignore me
And my boyfriend .... like I so impose
And my inconvenience of distance is such a disgrace
And woe, no money, ah?
I bet he questions, do I love her? Do I love her not?
And then denies it and gibberish-ly talks of love
It seems he can't recall bygones
And it seems he'd let go of the future
....I am no one,
To anybody
I am another Joe
Realizing that what I longed for might not ever happen
Because of my crooked smile,
and broken personality
I'll never know how to date,
I don't know how to be quite when I'm supposed to
Unsure of when to be loud
I'm realizing that what I longed for might not ever happen
and realizing the pointlessness of my constant improvement
Realizing who I am
Never knowing who I'm supposed to be

--dayna e. --9/11/07

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i just want one to find me