A New Woman - ONCE WANTED INSIDE

You wonder why i am leaving you
You think i am just a cry baby
Without a reason to cry
I am only a human made by God
Of course things will hurt my heart
Even more because of my sensitivity
I live in a constant sky of emotion
Evaporating my tears and forming
Hundreds and millions of black clouds
I am a storm of emotions
A wreck of isolation and paranoia
You said you'll stick by me
Through the worst of the worst
Through my health and my sickness
Doesn't seem like you followed through
Pulling the wool over my eyes
I admit to be a little pushover, but i was only trying to love you
I never said you could hurt me
Or beat me
Or even break my heart
Nor did God
You are supposed to support me even if i earn an income
God said you had to and i will help you if you needed it, but you cannot leave me when i am in need

God knows what it is with you
You say the most silliest things that are not necessary
What you're doing is dangerous to my heart
To my feelings and to who i am
I am going insane
I have no feelings for you
People think i am, but i tell the truth to not living a lie, but its like my friends
If they were liars and cheaters i never looked back
This is what i am doing
They say why cry if you do not care
The crying is the anger of why you left me, what did i do to deserve all of this afterall i given to you and you throw it all back into my face
I know i shouldn't think or feel this way
God will deal with you
You pushed me out of your life when i wanted in
Nothing was wrong
It was you who kept messing things up
Then you got me back, you won me back before
So why not anymore
All this time, you've been telling me lies
Filled up to the sea
Each little wave and glass of water is a lie
I cannot believe anything else, even if you admit one thing i may never believe it
Who's to blame
I don't want to say you, but it is you
Your lies are hidden in wrinkles and grey hairs only i know to see
Hidden in stutters and excuses only i know are untrue
Turning your back on me when i needed you the most
It was your choice to let me down
It was your choice
Your choice
Now you want back
I cannot open my heart
The place is broken
Where on earth will you stay
Its shattered glass, constantly leaking and bleeding soaring red pain
You will never know even if i did let you in
I will be living a lie now
You pushed me out when i wanted in
Now i am closed
So is my mind, my soul and my heart
May God forgive me