“I don't believe it!”
I have something in common
With David Beckham
The gorgeous marvel
Who kicks a leather ball
How on earth can this have happened, I
Can't believe it at all!
Forget his finesse with a football,
Not really in my league
And when I think of his millions
My nerves begin to seethe
His country piles
Are quintessentially English
Though guarded by
Dogs and a high wall.
All this and for doing nothing
Except pirouetting round a field
With a ball
Today's newspaper asserts yet again
That his problem is OCD
Well I can cap that achievement
It's been with me longer than
It's been with he!?!
I'm sure people
Think this is a silly dilemma
Not really a disease at all
Let me tell you
When it has gripped you, then
Out of it you will never crawl
Too many years
My brain has been savaged
By this frustrating vicious circle
That assaults pride and
Pushes me past the limit
Believe it or not
Is very serious
And not a made-up party gimmick