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 Smothered Flame
All I see now is embers of a flame I once knew,
and tortured memories of the things we did do.
You were my beacon in darkness, my guiding light,
now I live alone and you're no longer in my sight.
It took me so long for this answer to find,
you left my side because I lost my mind.
Looking back now, I know why you left me,
it was because of the stigma of insanity.
I had no control over the events I endured,
I'm stuck with this madness, I cannot be cured.
I take pills to sleep and pills to awake,
 a handful of others the doctors say take.
I gained one hundred fifty pounds in eighteen months of time,
from medications that are supposed to control my mind.
Will I find balance in my life before I am dead,
or will my mind burn out in a night full of dread?
The clocks have no meaning, nor dark, nor light,
seems I'm in a battle from an intrinsic fight.
I tear everything apart to the finest detail,
again and again in this living hell.
It's a sad thing when you can't trust your own mind,
and paranoid delusions occupy most of your time.
The doctors say I have a genius IQ
and that's the reason for the things that I do.
Well looking back at people with a Bipolar brain,
many contributed to life but, still were insane.
Sheli, my love, I still love you to death,
and I will 'til I take my last breath.

Dedicated To Sheli
Forever Love
Stan



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