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Christmas nears and most men begin to panic
It can only mean one thing
What gift can they buy for the woman in their heart
A rosy smile to her face it must bring

Each year as December arrives they tremble with trepidation
Blood pressure limits start to soar
What can he buy her this time
Can he get away with giving the same as before

A sweat sweeps their brow as they clasp their wallet
A large gulp the thought of parting with cash
Then they realise it's almost store closing time
And by George, they have got to dash

You can always recognise a man on his mission
The mere thought makes me giggle out loud
They are the innocuous ones with blank glare
Who can't seem to blend in with the crowd

Lingerie is often their safe bet
As they huddle beside a display
Stuck out like a sore thumb as they touch and fondle
Some get too excited as they play

Perhaps perfume, there's such an astonishing range
Flowery, spicy or musk
They really can't make their minds up
As the evening turns to dusk

They return home with bags overflowing
It wasn't that painful was it, come on
The thrill of the hunt was overwhelming
Oh well, that's another year's Christmas shopping done

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