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I am being held an unwilling captive My rights are being abused I can tell What was to have been a short visit Now they are handcuffing me and I am in hell Though Christmas shopping can be quite tiring And many a Scrooge stays away at home You have to admit all the shopping malls Are veritable feasts of festivities zones There are reindeers galloping in the air And Santa slipping down a chimney or two Children with chocolaty grins waiting at the grotto The constant jabbering makes it sound like a zoo Both men and women love going Christmas shopping Finding gifts for their dearest and near But today I found all the exit doors locked And I was mortified with blind fear Johnny Mathis is still singing about a Child being born Always has been a great favourite of mine Still, the newness begins to lose its edge After hearing it for the forty fourth time Those demon shop-keepers are at blame here They are demanding my money – let me go They insist I stay there till I have spent up So I am just going along with the flow Oh look, there's a Bobbi Brown lipstick I haven't got And another pair of shoes, my third pair this week A handbag to match and a nice jacket My mascara could do with a tweak Stop making me spend, you evil devils Let me go home with my last fiver in purse If I buy another dress no matter the colour My wardrobe will scream and completely burst A little white lie, I didn't really get locked in But that's what I will say when accused of overspending Because now I am miserable and penniless Hey mate, how are you at lending? Vote for this poem |
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