You are a zillion miles away,
But you are never very far,
While there are things like e-mail!
It's easier to get to you than by car!
Now please put on your best accent!
Cos these have to be read in Scouse!
That should rock them in the aisles!
And bring down the bloody house!!
Now its not that I swear a lot you know!
But listen; tell me please…
If I started sending mail and wrote…
Flipping heck, it would bring you to your knees!
Cos all the things I know of…
One thing I am really sure!
Your lot swear beyond words can tell!
So fr*g it! Oh dear, I think I just swore!!!
I think I'll have to beg forgiveness!
And throw myself on my knees!
Asking you lot to forget what I said!
As if I really would! Oh please!!!
Now if you don't read this in Scouse,
I'm afraid it will not rhyme – a lot!
So Andi, get that accent ready!
Cos what a lot of reading you've got!!!
Here's a little for-instance!
All about this language of mine!
Read them both, and see what I mean,
Oh blimey, I can really be a swine!
Read on; spot the difference!
'uyton, 'uyton, two dogs fightin'
One was a black un, one was a white un!
None Scouse; Read on!
Huyton, Huyton, two dogs fighting,
One was a black one, and one was a white one!
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