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My Life! The Circuits!!My Life! Every time I do the circuits, I'm always asked the same, Why did you start, why do you do it? I'm asked this over and again! So I always promised to tell my tale, so people, please be quiet! I mean - I don't wana drive you mad and start a ruddy riot! You might be a little bit bored, so I'll make it as fun as I can, I mean, after all, it's me health am talking, and I'm me No1 fan! It started off when I was 19, just 2 weeks after I was wed! There I was, all trussed up, lying in the hospital bed! I'd had 5 ops over the years to try to put things right, But all's not well, and what a shock! Hysterectomy what a fright! Well all me gynae bits, were really up the wall! And you know, it couldn't be helped, they had to take a fall! Now after the hyst I wasn't too bad, in fact I was really well! I never thought it'd be that good, I was feeling really swell! But I got knocked down by a lorry, a juggernaught actually! Me life all flashed before my eyes, it was just hospitals I could see! It left me with little old arther, creeping round me spine! Me neck and shoulder, everything, and I wasn't feeling fine! Then I had a ruddy tumour on me poor old brain, They had to remove it, what a shock! It was really such a shame! I was black and blue all over, with big fat puffed up eyes! No wonder there weren't any mirrors! What a ruddy surprise! But you see, I was only 21 when I had that first brain op, I didn't know it could grow again! So I really got a shock! So the ruddy thing grew back, not that I knew it could! I never expected to have it again; I even knocked on wood! Now things can get you down it seems, if you sit and dwell! But it doesn't do you any good, just fills your life with hell! I didn't wana be depressed, miserable down or sad! I wanted to get on with me life; otherwise it's just too bad! So I put me pen to paper and wrote me little rhymes, They made me laugh they really did, especially on the bad times! Well the writing got out of hand, and I really went off me head! I was writing this, writing that, cos I was glad I wasn't dead! Well after I had the brain op, epilepsy got me down, I didn't know it was gona happen, so I walked around in frown! I lost me driving license, me poor old car had to go! A baldy head, two black eyes, what a ruddy show! Then I got cholesterol, and me enzymes were up the wall! Me liver was causing me doc' a pain, I was always getting a call! "Come and see me Cath!" He'd say, "We've got a little problem!" I'd go down, he'd be panicking, and I just thought, ‘Oh sod them!' Me liver's dying, me kidney's a mess, me blood's full of fatty lumps, I couldn't believe it; not really, I should be down in the dumps! Then I had another operation; upon me poor bashed thigh! Then they told me am diabetic too, they nearly made me cry! Now me thyroids up the wall, that is why am fat! Thank goodness there's a reason, cos I wasn't having that! And I'm riddled in osteoporosis, me bones are truly kaput! But I have to be quite honest; I've a perfectly good left foot! Next I got angina, me heart's all knackered and diseased! I really have to say it…I should be on me knees! Me arteries are all clogged up, the cholesterol took its toll, So I threw me donor card away, cos am really on a roll! So suffice to say, am knackered, as I think all will agree! My poor doctor's up the wall, he's so upset you see! But I tell him not to worry; or he'll get a coronary! No use getting upset, he should chill out like me! Now if I said it didn't get to me, that would be a lie, I'm being totally honest, sometimes I do cry! But one thing I won't do, I'll never give up, and why? Cos my life's important, I'm extremely happy, so I don't wana die! Well now I'm counting up in numbers, to do with all the tumours! You can have this from the horse's mouth, never mind the rumours! The 1st tumour turned into 2, then that turned into No. 3… And now I'm being greedy, cos I am on No. 4 you see!!!!!! So alas, all's not too well, but I say this from my heart, It doesn't really matter, cos my life and me didn't depart! You see, I am one of the lucky ones, 4 tumours and still here! So to all those who say I'm so unlucky, to me it's very fair… God gives me problems that can be fixed, and it don't matter how! So why do I moan at times? Cos I shouldn't complain not now!! Some only have 1 tumour and die! Some others may have 2… Most are very unlucky, you see, I survived 4, and not all do! Know this, my words aren't negative; but they are strong and true! And if I can survive and never give up, then you can survive it too! You see, my body may be knackered, but my constitutions strong! I'll never give in, that way ‘I' win! For anything less is wrong! But there's just one thing I have to add about this bloody tumour! I reckon it's really brain-cell damage that gives me all this humour! 2008 = survival!!! P.S. As for being knackered... I think the chair gives it away, a bit!!!! Lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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