Another years past
Time goes so fast
I was going to show you this letter
But I've thrown it away, cause I'm feeling better
6 pages of my years of woes and sorrow
Depressed and a fearing of tomorrow
BUT! I read it, and read it again
And I realised that this is now and that was then
You know in the two years you've been gone
Some things have gone wrong
But I do believe my dark days are over
I loved every single second of my time in Oklahoma
I messed up and ended up in Peru
But in many ways I see the funny side to that, don't you?
I was so furious with what she said to me
I changed my ticket to another country
And what makes it even more funny
I did it without any money!
I even went to New York and Miami
A trip too far, my insanity
I fell in love and loved someone more than me
In many ways these two years were far from one long misery
I became an uncle and a recently a God father
And got a brilliant job as a drugs and alcohol social worker
I even sat my driving test
But I failed, but I tried my best
I am doing it again so all is cool
Got a date set in April
I went to Spain with Ben and stayed with Auntie Tricia
And that time away has made me a million times better
I went away still with a broken heart
But now I am ready for a fresh start
We are selling up mum, and I'm going to move to somewhere new
I'll be getting my inheritance early, so I wanted to say thankyou
I am strong again mum, stronger than I have ever been
I feel I have awoken from my bad dream
Yes my heart was broken, and it hurt
But I'm a survivor, I've been there, done that and got the T-shirt
Your boys are doing well mum
And you'd be proud of every single one
Bens got a great new job I am really pleased for him
And Noah's so beautiful and he keeps on growing
David's moving too, going to buy a bigger place with Becky
They wanted me to move to Rickmansworth, but it wasn't for me
I am looking at moving to Surrey
With it's rivers and parks it's ideal for my photography
The future for me is bright mum, I'm relishing the new path ahead
I have come to terms with the fact your dead
You live now peacefully forever in my memory
I promise you, I will no longer fall back into my insanity
For me it wasn't an anger or a rage, it was just an unbearable sadness
Add then a broken heart on top of that, it became a personal madness
But to be honest mum, I got bored of feeling like $h!T
So I just brushed myself down and got on with it
Mum you should be proud of what you have done
You've made and created a very special son
I had to lose my way to find myself again
But I love you, as does David and Ben
I have never felt a bond so strong between 3 brothers
And that's down to the love you gave us
Now all off the above was not mentioned in my 6 page letter
But this is what I really wanted to tell you, now I'm feeling better.
28.2.08. Things are getting better mum... love your middle son (the one that does things differently from everyone else) miss you and love you as always xx
