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An ‘L' Of A Job.


I sat quietly in me car,
He talked me through me pace,
By the time he'd finished,
You should have seen me face?

Push this for that!
Press this in!
And if you skid,
Drive into the spin!

I tried to absorb it all,
But really, it was too much!
If I had to change the gear...!
I had to use the clutch!

'Don't for get the handbrake!'
Is what he did instil…!
Oh cor blimey and sugar plumbs,
 I was feelin' really ill!

I had to put the gear in 'first,'
And check me mirrors too!
I put me foot down it didn't move,
I didn't know what to do?

I forgot to take the handbrake off…!
The instructor went ballistic,
'Oh, no, I'm sorry,' I said,
‘You'd think I was a mystic!'

When the steam calmed down,
Cos it was pourin' outa his ears,
I told him, 'don't you worry lad!'
 I was tryin' to allay his fears!

But, he wouldn't listen,
His nerves were really gone
And he told me not to phone again...
He's retirin' to the sun!



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