Burger King #2
remember ewe this is just a paroday not a paid advertisement
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Burger King (Mattoon, Illinois) Origin
Hoot Burger King This article relies almost entirely on the CharlaXonesevenandroid.
The first cow was killed in Illinois near Forking Dam City, Ill. On July 21, 1954. Mattoon is further south of there or north depending on the highway map that ewe aer on. Today we find the place they placed the meat upon the bread and called it god. The Hoots family Gene and Betty did not take money or sell the namme of the restaurant to the Burger King people from Florida who were federal. The way they always told it “back in the day” she looked out back at the new place and said opining away she said” “A Frigid Queen needs a King” so then they called it Burger King. The old coot Gene Hoot he clawed a place to lever in the mud and held on to that old cow sure that Betty boop would get the meat from that old sow a moment more and the struggle was over and the first ketsup pickle your way item was borne under a harvest moon the meat was cooked on the grille with real fire kinda like they still do it now. The “Dairy” Frigid Queen was there two years before they got that magic cow from Jack for a handful of Illinois green Magic beans now children and ewe we all knoe that story it was the Hoots that met Jack on the trail the old trail and sold him that bill of goods. Betty said she got the beans from the vine that still grows near the sill of the Burger King window it starts small but gets narrow and larger and then just keeps going up out of sight of them. No one there wants to ever climb it. When Jack said he got them beans from an old Coot on the trail he meant Hoot, mon, Hoot. Please Constable Hardwhack do not arrest Gene for rustling the statue of limitations has run down and left town last seen heading to the Dam.
