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Confused, Lost…I Guess!Long? Yep! Interesting, maybe? All my life I've had a faith, good and strong and true! Always tried to do my best, but less than good enough wont do! And back when I was 21… my faith took a really big bash! I guess from then, I questioned, for I'm not one to do anything rash. So I plodded on in my faith, but over time it seemed to die inside, I stuck it out, excused my thoughts, but from the truth, we just can't hide. And so this seed of doubt began, I refused to listen, well, I guessed… But over the years things have changed, I thought it was another test! For in my life I've been tested, beyond endurance at times too, But my faith in my God never faltered, because that just wouldn't do! And over the years I disagreed with the church, with this, that, you see, Things that they would frown upon, but my mother brought me up an RC! And who was I to argue that? Could I show the distain in my head? No, so I continued my walk, keeping my thoughts inside, as I've said! Then time went on and I disagreed more, I seemed to be in turmoil a lot! And when I would question, the result was… well, actually, not a lot! I never found the answers! And the past few years I've had more… …Doubt against my RC religion, not knowing what to chose, what door? For without God above, in my life, I guess I just wouldn't be here… It was through my faith I got through! The uncertainty, the anger, the fear! But now I'm at a crossroads, over these past many few years, and more! Something happened, I needed help, isn't that what the church is for? But the church, it turned against me! And I've written many a poem on that! For who has the right, in human form? To blame me for where my life was at! Things happen that we can't help, and I believe God wouldn't want me to pain! And live with the ‘sin' held against me! For it brought to me, much distain! Others won't judge me! I don't allow it! For there is only one judge in my life! And that is He, this Icon, God above! He is the One that eases all strife! So I chat with God many a night! And asked the questions in my heart… One was; ‘God, ‘Am I that evil? That priests can judge me and hurt impart?' And I listed most quietly for the answer: I knew my God would give to me… The answers I seek are hard to find, but they are slowly coming from He! So I trundle down this path I walk, wondering daily where it will take me, I feel like I'm drowning in the dark! So blinded that I just cant see! …I can't see the way I am going, so I feel for it inside the heart of me! Hoping the answers will come, and God will give me the sight to see! Not physically see of course, but ‘see' where I'm blind and confused, For this turmoil that I live in! Leaves me bewildered and bemused! I look for the answer in prayer all the time! Always in the dark of night… Whisper to our Saviour, God above, to help me walk into the path of light! But as yet, I don't see it at all, for I am still walking blind and unsure! So I wait every day, and hope and I pray, that God will bring me to His door. So the years trundle on, and still… I am walking in a haze: and still lost, And feel like I have nowhere to go… to the side of the road I am tossed… But I will never stop questioning! For isn't that what God wants us to do? Question Him, and find the truth! And help us to know what to do? …I think so… …So I walk, and wait, and hope… _________________________________ Ladies... Please take the time to visit a friends website... Just copy and paste the URL into the search bar! ________________________________________________ www.gabriellajewellerydesigns.co.uk Beautiful handmade silver gemstone jewellery! At affordable prices. Earrings, necklaces, pendants and bracelets! All are created with care, and attention to detail. *************************************** Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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