New barmaid down The Plough tonight
In a black blouse nice and tight
Tits sell pints, it's a fact
That line of no return in her crack
So much power they have behind the bar
They are so close but yet so far
Like a lap dancer touching your tool
But you're not allowed to touch her, that's the rule
She stands there asking what you want
‘To see what you got up front'
That's what the mind leers
Instead you say “Can I have 2 beers”
Two beers, one for you, one for your mate
As you both discuss the barmaids fate
But even barmaids lose their glow
When it's last orders and you're asked to go!