just thoughts 

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 Rage Within                                      

I'm getting older each day, but wisdom is staying two steps ahead of me;
Just outside the realm of my grasp, I can't reach far enough.
I am left with the knowledge of who I am, yet unable to perceive the solution.
This anger throws me against the bulkhead that I built to keep this passion contained.
It searches for a breach in this protection I have built to insulate those I love from this rage.
I know that there is a weakness, and the anger knows where it is also, I am just a man.
I stand on  the ledge looking down to the stormy ocean a hundred feet below.
From this cliff, I know that I'm close to stepping into the free fall of this power,
As I fall headlong into the seas below driven by the rage within.

From a deeper part of myself I know that I don't want to be this way.
I fantasize what it would be like to be known as that jovial dude without a care.
But I know that this is not my lot in life, I was born into this anger.
Rage reached out from my cradle, and defined my childhood as well.
This despised rage carried me through all the days of my life, there is no hope.
I am what I am, an angry man, a man who keeps what is mine, just leave me alone.
From this place my heart explodes with sadness as I feel this gentleness buried deep inside.
I can never allow it to show its face, as my enemies will see this opening and attack,
As always I respond from the depths of the rage within.

I've busted many heads in my life,  but mine also has been busted a time or two.
I have held on to all that is mine, nothing has been taken by the forces of evil.
I am strong! Hell, ya! I am the Man! Hell, ya! But why no victory dance inside.
Why this emptiness when the anger subsides, why is there no peace, no not even for a moment?
I know that my anger is not my friend, as it has been the destroyer of any seeds of joy ever planted.
What can I do, though, after all, I am what I am, an angry man, I am an angry man.
I see that ledge and the swirl of the tides down below beckoning me over the edge.
Today, I will take a step back away from the rage within.

As long as I can think, as long as reason exists within;
I am not powerless, as I can take a small step back.
Then stand, firmly stand, as a man without fear;
As I face the dragon of the rage within.

This was written for a friend battling the demon of anger. It spoke
to him, a giant of a man, an angry man.

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