He cannot see me
And it reminds me
Of her.
She couldn't see me either.
So I touch his
Sweet head and feel
The soft hair
And soak up the pleasure
That emanates from him
And I melt at the smile.
The waves feel like
The warm gentle
Tidal pools
Of Hawaii,
Where there is a small
Protected harbor
Against the crashing
Surf nearby.
Then just as suddenly
As the Colorado
Skies,
A brisk wind
Whooshes in
Crisp, biting
And I dare not
Touch what was
Warm and soft
What seemed
Just moments ago.
I love him,
Like the Sun
That warms the Earth,
I will be ever present
But I have no control
Over the turbulent
Skies,
Nor the clouds of doubt,
Nor the sting of angry lighting
That bolts from
Unseeing eyes…
Nor the thunderous clap
Of clipped words and agitated tones.
It hurts…but…
I will never stop loving him.
I take the treasured moments
When he connects with me
And I with him,
Like warm coals
Sparkling jewels
Of lovemaking
Of singular kisses
With those soft lips
That leave ghost images,
I replay them when
My love for him
Cannot be seen
Nor perceived
Through the storms
That ravage him.
But all the gifts
Laid by heaven
And earth at his feet
Cannot bring him
The one thing
I wish he could see.
How I see him,
Blessed,
Good,
Kind,
Loving,
A Source
Of the Divine
Made manifest
On Earth…
I wish he could see
What I love
About him…
Without thinking
I love him
Only for the moon
That orbits him.
Luna is beautiful
And feminine
And fine…
But the two
Though intertwined
Are separate
And my love for one
Cannot replace
The other.
All I can do
Is hope and pray
One day the clouds
Of inadequacy and projections
Will be burned away
With the warmth
Of my love
Over time…
So he can smile
At me…
See me…
Love me…
And not just
Temporarily.
Once I love someone
That's it.
I will love them
Forever.
Even if they
Will never know.
Cannot know
What they see
With their own eyes,
The things that need
To be seen with the heart.
