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Life's little mysteries


Do you ever stopped to think about how absurd life can be,
When looked at through the eyes of someone just like me,
Who sees this crazy world from a different point of view,
My zany observations I hope to share with you,

How far does the universe stretch, where does the odd sock go,
Does it end up in a black hole, that's what I want to know,
Is Australia at the bottom of the world or is it on the top,
I'm full of these stupid questions and I don't know how to stop,

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers, does rains make woolly sheep shrink?,
Did the Kamakazis have safety lessons, I'll tell you what I think,
The more you contemplate your naval, the more your mind will drift,
Go on ask a cemetery worker, do they prefer the graveyard shift?

If your cross eyed and dyslexic would you be able to read all right?
Where does the radio reception go when you try to listen at night,
Can fat people go skinny dipping, why didn't Tarzan have a beard,
Do cats like mouse flavoured crunchies, That's one I haven't heard,

Why we wash our bath towels, we were clean to use them I see,
If there a blackout in our area, why do they broadcast it on TV,
How deeper would the oceans be if sponges were to move on land,
To  put "s" in lisp is cruel I think, that I don't understand,

I will try and keep my observations to where it belongs,
The Irish can't tie shoelaces, is that why Aussies still wear thongs?,
How come we know the speed of light, but not the speed of dark,
Try borrowing money from a pessimist, he won't expect it back,

If an airport is called a "terminal" is it really safe to fly,
And everyone wants to go to heaven, but no-one wants to die,
Fate has all the options, and conspires to have all the power
That's why the phones ring while your singing in the shower,

This little caustic comment may warrant some inspection,
But why sterilise a needle before giving a lethal injection
Be smiling on the inside, never show a face that's glum
Be like the little glow worm, who's sun shines out it's bum





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