I thought it was a bit serious when
The politzei stuck me in their van
And god did he frighten me then
That armed German policeman.
I'd been sauntering through the woods
Back from a night at the chief's
When suddenly they grabbed and
Marched me off like a thief.
No that aint really true - this van appears
Driving wildly through the trees
And suddenly there's all this gang
Running around past and near me
I though it was a game
Some German form of tag or catch
So I thought I'd join in as well.
Much better than just watch.
So I'm running and yelling with ‘em
Thinking what a jolly little lark
First time I'd played hide and seek
In the woods in the dark:
And then I was caught
And I saw his gun
Remember thinking -
And I surrendered
They let me go
Elli and the chief found out
It was a stolen vehicle on the run
Who'd just been all but caught
When I'd joined in the fun.
If I'd carried my I D card
Like a good little squaddie
I wouldn't have been treated
Like one of the baddies
The politzei couldn't understand
That all I could say
In my immaculate Deutch
Was - I'm an ashtray.
One of the police knew me
From the pub and just my luck
For more than a month
That bloody name stuck.
When they used it I didn't hang my head
Just sat there all embarrassed, face bright red.