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Silence
On his nineteenth birthday
He sits in his bedroom
High school is over now
Flipping burgers pays enough to buy clothes
And makes the payments on the car
But he doesn't see how he could pay for an apartment
And he REALLY can't see living here with his parents
While he tries to go to college
His best friend, James
Planted the seed in his head a few months ago
Money for school
Free food
Free rent
A chance to travel
A chance to be a MAN
He gets up out of his bed
Throws on some of his nicest clothes
And three hours later
Sits in an office taking his first set of tests
One week later
He takes the oath
And is sworn in as a Marine
Marine Corps recruit training is tough for him
This is an understatement
He realizes how out of shape his body really is
But he's not the only one
Everything is laid out
The drills
The PT
The combat water survival
The confidence course
The marksmanship and field training
Each a different challenge
Each makes him a bit stronger
He makes it through the Crucible
Ranked in the top of his class
Before he realizes it, this part of training is over
From boot to hat
He is all Marine
Iraq is his first deployment
Twelve months away from home
He has never been away from home that long
Of course he's never left the country before either
This is what he'd signed up for
Mentally and physically he was ready
And maybe at this point
He was
The fighting isn't the hardest part
That is easy
People shoot at you
You shoot back
Hopefully you have better guns and more of them
Most of the time
This is the case
The seventy pounds of gear doesn't make it easy
And of course
The heat makes it always worse
But the fighting never seems to bother him
The hours
The moments in between always do
Every face, every person is a potential enemy
Even kids can leave IED's at the side of the road
He lost a friend of his last week that way
He won't be so careless
Or so he hopes
At the end of the eleventh month his body reaches its limit
Long hours on patrol
Less fighting
Less engagements, though the threat is still there
Less hours of sleep
The nightmares come more often
Night after night the same
Voices screaming inside his head
Still there's only one more month
One more month until twelve back at home
Then the news comes
Three months more to wait
He packs it all inside
He's a Marine
He does what he has to do and survives
Analyze, improvise, and overcome
This is his motto
Like so many others
He does his time
The day finally comes
As he gets on the plane to leave this place
This Hell that has haunted him for so long
He raises a finger in defiance
Others behind him do the same
Yes, they are all Marines
He's been home eleven months now
Still the nightmares haunt his sleep
Voices speak to him from empty rooms
He often sleeps on the sofa
Hoping not to wake his new wife
He started therapy a month ago
They can work through this the doctor assures him
And of course the pills seem to help
Most of the time
It's Monday
He goes out to the porch for the mail
The temperature seems to drop at least ten degrees
When he sees it
He shakes as he opens the letter
He had heard this might be coming
But he hoped since he was still under treatment
It might not
He goes inside and starts laying out his plans
He deploys for the second tour the next week
They told him his treatment would continue
They promised him there would be plenty of pills
Those ran out last month
Still the nightmares torture his nights
But now they continue even through the day
He tells all of those who will listen
"Everything's going to be fine" is always their answer
When there is an answer at all
His platoon walks into an ambush
Snipers laid out on both flanks
His friend next to him is hit in the shoulder
And screams into his ear
Blood splatters everywhere
He stands up and with a soft voice
Starts a final prayer
He prays they are as good a shot as he is
Seconds later his prayers are answered
And finally he gets the one thing he has sought after
And prayed for
For so long
Silence
An ocean away
Another Marine sits at home
Alone in a dark room
He hasn't slept for seven days
The voices in his head won't stop talking
Won't stop screaming
He finally drives himself to the hospital
Lays everything out to the doctor
With tears in his eyes
The Marine begs for help
After some quick tests
And hours of waiting
The doctor returns
He tells him he needs rest
And hands him a prescription to take home
As he leave the room
The doctor jots down a final note on his file
"Not a danger to self, or to others"
Hours later the Marine finally stops his car
The police have been chasing him for five miles
Ninety miles an hour the wrong way on the highway
He steps out of the vehicle
Slowly lowers himself to his knees
Raises his hands above his head
And begs the officers to either cuff him or shoot him
Before he can hurt any of them
He begs them for the one thing he can not find
Silence
Ed Roberts 5/13/09
Written for those who have lived this and survived and in remembrance for those who did not. Through my tears I will bleed words for you hoping that through them others will come to understand.
He sits in his bedroom
High school is over now
Flipping burgers pays enough to buy clothes
And makes the payments on the car
But he doesn't see how he could pay for an apartment
And he REALLY can't see living here with his parents
While he tries to go to college
His best friend, James
Planted the seed in his head a few months ago
Money for school
Free food
Free rent
A chance to travel
A chance to be a MAN
He gets up out of his bed
Throws on some of his nicest clothes
And three hours later
Sits in an office taking his first set of tests
One week later
He takes the oath
And is sworn in as a Marine
Marine Corps recruit training is tough for him
This is an understatement
He realizes how out of shape his body really is
But he's not the only one
Everything is laid out
The drills
The PT
The combat water survival
The confidence course
The marksmanship and field training
Each a different challenge
Each makes him a bit stronger
He makes it through the Crucible
Ranked in the top of his class
Before he realizes it, this part of training is over
From boot to hat
He is all Marine
Iraq is his first deployment
Twelve months away from home
He has never been away from home that long
Of course he's never left the country before either
This is what he'd signed up for
Mentally and physically he was ready
And maybe at this point
He was
The fighting isn't the hardest part
That is easy
People shoot at you
You shoot back
Hopefully you have better guns and more of them
Most of the time
This is the case
The seventy pounds of gear doesn't make it easy
And of course
The heat makes it always worse
But the fighting never seems to bother him
The hours
The moments in between always do
Every face, every person is a potential enemy
Even kids can leave IED's at the side of the road
He lost a friend of his last week that way
He won't be so careless
Or so he hopes
At the end of the eleventh month his body reaches its limit
Long hours on patrol
Less fighting
Less engagements, though the threat is still there
Less hours of sleep
The nightmares come more often
Night after night the same
Voices screaming inside his head
Still there's only one more month
One more month until twelve back at home
Then the news comes
Three months more to wait
He packs it all inside
He's a Marine
He does what he has to do and survives
Analyze, improvise, and overcome
This is his motto
Like so many others
He does his time
The day finally comes
As he gets on the plane to leave this place
This Hell that has haunted him for so long
He raises a finger in defiance
Others behind him do the same
Yes, they are all Marines
He's been home eleven months now
Still the nightmares haunt his sleep
Voices speak to him from empty rooms
He often sleeps on the sofa
Hoping not to wake his new wife
He started therapy a month ago
They can work through this the doctor assures him
And of course the pills seem to help
Most of the time
It's Monday
He goes out to the porch for the mail
The temperature seems to drop at least ten degrees
When he sees it
He shakes as he opens the letter
He had heard this might be coming
But he hoped since he was still under treatment
It might not
He goes inside and starts laying out his plans
He deploys for the second tour the next week
They told him his treatment would continue
They promised him there would be plenty of pills
Those ran out last month
Still the nightmares torture his nights
But now they continue even through the day
He tells all of those who will listen
"Everything's going to be fine" is always their answer
When there is an answer at all
His platoon walks into an ambush
Snipers laid out on both flanks
His friend next to him is hit in the shoulder
And screams into his ear
Blood splatters everywhere
He stands up and with a soft voice
Starts a final prayer
He prays they are as good a shot as he is
Seconds later his prayers are answered
And finally he gets the one thing he has sought after
And prayed for
For so long
Silence
An ocean away
Another Marine sits at home
Alone in a dark room
He hasn't slept for seven days
The voices in his head won't stop talking
Won't stop screaming
He finally drives himself to the hospital
Lays everything out to the doctor
With tears in his eyes
The Marine begs for help
After some quick tests
And hours of waiting
The doctor returns
He tells him he needs rest
And hands him a prescription to take home
As he leave the room
The doctor jots down a final note on his file
"Not a danger to self, or to others"
Hours later the Marine finally stops his car
The police have been chasing him for five miles
Ninety miles an hour the wrong way on the highway
He steps out of the vehicle
Slowly lowers himself to his knees
Raises his hands above his head
And begs the officers to either cuff him or shoot him
Before he can hurt any of them
He begs them for the one thing he can not find
Silence
Ed Roberts 5/13/09
Written for those who have lived this and survived and in remembrance for those who did not. Through my tears I will bleed words for you hoping that through them others will come to understand.
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Silence
Silence