My troubles simmer slowly upon the boiling
pot of my brain and violently toss to and
fro within my mind.
The life long struggles come back to haunt
my consciousness as I attempt to overcome
the bundles of strife and bushels of suffering
that have held me hostage all of these years.
Never have I had the luxury of feeling secure
for circumstances have left me disabled, and a
great sense of impotency has left me sadly
impotent and defective.
Little that is good and lovely has touched
my life with its sensuous golden hand.
Fate has left me a brittle empty vessel of longing.
Joy has danced away and happiness hides its
golden glow from me.
Love has left me reeling and desire has left
me sadly wanting while sentiment takes no hold
over my heart nor has passion caressed my soul.
Dispassionate emotion takes hold of me though
I try to fend it off with every fiber of my being.
I struggle violently for control and supremacy
over my sad worthless world,but am forlornly left
fallen and very much alone to suffer greatly in
a cold,miserable crisis of faith in myself.
Never have I known warmth and compassion in anothers
strong gentle arms.
The terrible tides of tension and turmoil toss
me about like a sailboat upon the stormy seas.
Painfully have I struggled in pitiful silence.
I have been fitfully bound by destitution,
unable to successfully achieve my goals.
For I am a loser and fearful ghost of a person
in my own trauma ridden mind.
Then one sunny day I dreamed of finding the
sweet solace and righteous dignity in change.
At long last in my burdened life things begin to change.
Love has once more leapt into my heart,and faith has
finally over ridden the fears of my soul.
My mind is finally unclouded and free of fear as
it at last becomes clear what I must do.
I strap on my boots and pull up my sleeves to fight
for those things that were always meant to be mine.
As I finally begin to fight sunlight fills my heart
and my soul is cleansed of unjust suffering.
Happiness begins to erase the dark shades of my mourning.
Life becomes worth living as I strive to be more
than I had ever allowed myself to be,
and have at last won the sweet golden victory
of finally being me.
Donavon Scott Vinson
