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 A Day too Much for My Heart
Here I am holding that light up while shadows cling to me like starving beasts
Who wish nothing more than to devour the light I have to shine
And beneath my feet are clamoring monsters
Of fears the world and people
Around me cannot let go of
Until I am too tired to fight
Anymore,
Even though
The idea of me giving up
Would break people's
Hearts…
I'm sorry
Today I have no more
Other than to
Put one foot
In front of the other.

My Beloved refused my help
Sent me away
Forgot she teased me with
Seeing my spirit brother
And I woke up with a punch
To the gut.
She left without me
He never delivered
The message I called
And now it's too late
And she thinks she's
Going to see me
And forgot
It's not going to happen.
That I am going camping for 3 days
When she gets back and it'll be
More than 2 weeks
Before we're together.
And this is just the first few
Seconds of the day.

The aftershocks
Of the party
Are still rolling.
The positive is
A thin candy shell
To a chocolate
That is too bitter
For one comment
That weighs down
My heart and soul
To wash away
All the good that I did
As if it never existed.

So I spend the day
Being the better person
I know I am
But now there is
Nothing left for me.

I work the day
To keep the light
Burning
Of hope
And love
In a tidal wave
Hurricane
Of my own
bitterness.

How can
The pain of one person grow larger
In my heart than all the good
I did?
Today I hate
My own empathy
Like a betrayer
Who sacrificed
My inner poet
To the cynicism
Of the world.

Texts
Comments
Notes
Calls
Came in like the tide
To try and soothe me
But nothing
Electronic
Was working.

So off I run
To the land
Of gypsies
And poets
To soothe the bile
In the back of my throat
I am forced to swallow.
I am cursed
To be so sensitive.

Let me soak
In your words
And passions
My poet brothers
And sisters
My soul needs
Your wisdom
My heart needs
Your passion
My mind needs
Your clarity.

But in the end
It was your love
And hugs,
Kisses through
My cheeks
Sending electric currents
Of enlightenment
Through your love
That broke the spell.
Hope, love, avocado boy
Kelly pixie hippie chic
Kit, gypsy oxen driver
Surrounded me
With love and light
That gave no place
For the shadows
To cling
And set me free
and
Returned me home
To myself.

Thank you
Thank you all
For every little bit of love
Sent today.



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