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SO MANY MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY HAVE COMMENTED ON HOW WELL I AM DEALING WITH WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD, SO MANY FRIENDS SAY THE SAME THING AND I LOOK AT THEM AND GRIN, SMILE AND SAY THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN BE, NO SENSE IN CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK...
THIS MORNING I WENT TO A 12 STEP PROGRAM, AND SAID I AM STARTING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH THE 11TH. OF JULY WILL BE 17 YEARS SOBER AND CLEAN, I SAID I WAS TOLD I HAVE THIS, IT CAN BE TREATABLE, CURABLE, OR A FATAL DISEASE...
I SAID I AM TAKING IT 1 SECOND AT A TIME, JUST LIKE I DID 17 YEARS AGO, NO DIFFERENT, I LEAVE THERE AND I GO TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND SAY HELLO TO AS MANY STRANGERS AS I CAN FIND EVERYDAY AND SMILE, OR MAKE A FUNNY, THAT'S ALL I CAN DO, AND BOY DOES THAT NOT MAKE ME FEEL GREAT...
I GO TO THIS CANCER HOSPITAL CALLED ROSWELL PARK CANCER INSTITUTE, I WALK IN THERE JOKING AROUND, HOLDING ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN, SMILING AS I GO FROM OFFICE TO OFFICE, COMPLIMENTING THE STAFF AND MAKING THEM LAUGH...
THERE IS NO CHANGING ME, MY HEART IS TRUE, IT HAS BEEN THIS WAY FOR A LONG TIME, MY HEART IS PURE, IN WHAT I SAY AND DO, THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN BE...
THURSDAY THE 11TH. WHEN I GET THE NEWS ON THE BIOPSIES, I WILL ACCEPT WHATEVER IS SAID TO ME AND TAKE IT FROM THERE, JUST LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS FIRST TOLD BY MY FAMILY DOCTOR, I THANKED HIM FOR DOING HIS JOB WELL...
MY FAMILY DOCTOR TOLD ME HE WAS SORRY, I SAID DON'T BE SORRY FOR DOING YOUR JOB, IT'S ALL IN THE CIRCLE OF LIFE, IT IS O.K....
AS I SHOOK HIS HAND AND SMILED AS I TURNED AND WALKED OUT THE DOOR TO GET A STAT CAT SCAN OF MY CHEST...
UNTIL THE FACTS ARE EXPLAINED TO ME THOROUGHLY, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS....