Can I have a dog, Mr?
Of course, just a little one,
To protect me flat and me,
No damage will be done!
Just a little dog is all I want,
Fro company and security,
A little westie or yourkie,
That will do for me!
I'll keep it in order, no barking,
And I won't let the dog do that,
I promise I'll keep it clean and tidy,
I won't let it rip up the flat…
What about a parrot?
Now they are only small,
Ello pretty polly…
Is the only thing you'll hear it call!
No barking no destroying,
They're easy to keep clean,
And they only smell a little bit…
Except when they shout and scream!
Can I have a dog then?
I promise it won't cause strife,
It will look after the flat,
And make for an easy life
You said you wanted a dog,
And reluctantly I said yes,
You said a little yorkie…
Well a yorkie can eat a mat!
Let me see this dog of yours,
Get it out of the shed,
Cor blimey, what have you done?
It's a rottweiler…that's not what I said!
What's that racket in the garden?
Why are the neighbours phoning me?
Let me in that garden now!
I want to se what it is they see!
Two dogs!!!! I only said one!
What the hell is your game?
No wonder the girl below…
Is going totally insane!
She said the garden's such a mess,
And the floor in the flat's ripped out!
Cos they're scratching and tearing at the floor,
And they've ripped out all the grout!
No wonder the neighbours are complaining!
No wonder they're going insane!
No wonder the flat's destroyed!
No wonder you're getting the blame!
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