It Wasn't Me Mr. Honest…! / You Say It Wasn't You?
I didn't do it you know!
And I don't know how it occurred,
All of a sudden, there was a bang,
As loud as you've never heard!
It wasn't me Mr. honest…!
I wasn't in the room,
Like I said, there was a bang,
A great big flippin' boom!
I wouldn't do that, Mr.
I'm very careful you see,
I look after me flat,
It really wasn't me!
It wasn't me Mr. honest,
I wouldn't do that to you,
So I think a rebate is in order,
For the stress that I've been through!
It wasn't me Mr. honest,
I just fell against the wall,
And just like that, wham…
The radiator took a fall.
Tell me please who was it…?
That put this hole in the wall!
And who was it smashed the window,
With the coat stand in the hall!
And as for the toilet seat,
Just what happened to that?
It's smashed in half it's in a mess,
Well that's just great is that!
Who was it ripped the carpet,
And who pulled the taps off the sink,
And what happened to the bathroom tiles,
And blimey, what's that stink?
There's a mess all over the garden,
There's mud all over the stairs,
And tell me then, who did it,
Is there anyone who cares?
Who did this, and who did that?
And what's your excuse today?
Well I'm writing to your guarantor,
Cos there's a great big bill to pay!
So then, now where was I?
Oh yes, the damage that's done,
Are you going to tell me who did it?
Cos I'm not finding this any fun!