MY LIFE AS I ONCE KNEW IT WAS ALMOST TAKEN FROM ME IN A BAD WAY, ALCOHOL ALMOST KILLED ME, AND
I DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT, US ALCOHOLICS ARE USUALLY THE LAST TO KNOW...
PEOPLE THAT WE ASSOCIATE ARE SELF'S WITH, NEIGHBORS, PARENTS, FAMILY, THEY ALL KNEW, YET NOT A WORD WAS SPOKEN?
I DID NOT HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO, AFTER MY 2ND ARREST OF D.U.I. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG AND I HAD A PROBLEM, I JUST WAS NOT SURE WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, OR EVEN WHERE TO GO...
SO FOR THE FIRST 7 MONTHS, I WHITE KNUCKLED IT, I GOT A JOB AT A BANK, AND I STARTED TO GO THROUGH SOME REALLY BAD WITHDRAWAL'S, THE SHAKES, SICKNESS, SWEATS, CHILLS, DEPRESSION,
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, "I WAS SICK AND TIRED, OF BEING SICK AND TIRED."
I FOUND OUT WHERE THERE WAS A.A. MEETING AT 7:30AM, AND THOUGHT THAT THERE I COULD GET HELP, I CIRCLED THE PARKING LOT, LIKE CIRCLING THE WAGONS, MAKING SURE NO ONE KNEW WHO I WAS...
I SAT IN MY CAR AND SHOOK, I WAS TRYING TO FIND THE COURAGE TO GO INTO THAT BUILDING, SO WITH A LITTLE SELF TALK, I SHUT THE CAR OFF AND WALKED 100 STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR, FEELING AS SCARED AS YOU ARE WHEN YOU GO TO SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST TIME...
I TOOK A SEAT NEAR THE DOOR, IN CASE I HAD TO LEAVE BEFORE THE HOUR WAS UP, I SAID MY NAME, THE 1ST. FEW TIMES, AND AFTER THAT I STARTED TO SAY ALCOHOLIC THOMAS...
EVERYONE KNEW I WAS A BEGINNER, AND THAT MEETING EVERYONE IT SEEMED TALKED TO ME...
UNTIL YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR HEART, YOU CAN SAY MY NAME IS, SO AND SO...
NOW, I AM JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE LITERALLY FOR AS LONG AS I CAN, MY LIVE LIST IS GETTING LONGER, AND I AM FINDING FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO DO THINGS WITH I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO, BUT NEVER TOOK THE TIME OUT TO GO...
