Exhale in and out,
Caught in this misery of so much doubt,
Confused about which direction to take,
Afraid of certainty and afraid of mistakes.
He felt so familiar, like the other half of me,
I felt transparent around him you see,
I had to run, but with nowhere to hide,
Because I believe he is my other side.
Fight or flight has a lyrical twist,
But safer I feel when im lost in a mist.
He claimed he knew me and what makes me tick,
the thought of this closeness leaves me exposed and sick,
A sadness fills the space where he used to be,
A space filled with fun, happiness and glee.
Is this self harm to deprive me of this?
To break this cycle and be his I wish!!
I yearn for closeness, security and love,
But to open myself up fills my unconscious with fear,
So almost robotically, to self destruction I steer.
A familiar loneliness replaces the fun we had,
and the happiness turns to a familiar sad.
Bye my Prince, I wish I could change,
And my feelings inside no longer felt strange.
I wish I could be all you want me to be,
But self preservation is my unconscious reality,
You will always remain a special star in my life,
Before you, it was polluted with misery and strife.
You were my oxygen... my air,
and now I can't breathe,
But the familiarity of this place is all that I grieve.
I don't expect you to understand,
I just want you to know,
That letting you go was not easy you know.
Your special, unique,
I will question what could have been,
If only I was able to take down my screen..