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Second Born No More
I wonder...
Perhaps thinking it so
An explanation at least from Fate
An offered truth.
Another day gone
Another day blue
This mess of mine
Today I called it life.
Yet those who dismantle
Feel not
When their actions
Cause strife.
Dark skies tonight
No stars in sight
My heart beats
Not as life's pump
But a valentine from long ago
Torn apart
Before love laid down and stopped the fight.
To grieve
How is it this broken tether won't let go?
Stalking me no matter the day
Or denied at night?
A haunting, an evil
My heart, my heart
So long it takes to heal
From the inside out
A blight caused by the confusion of you.
Decades ago I denied recognition
Rejected all possibility
Something amiss in you.
My son, I gifted you a name
And now the sound chokes in my ears
And visions of you disassemble
Before my sight
A horror too intense to sleep
At night.
Memories
Thinking back to when you were young
They dance and parade
In the light of day
Like a child's laughter
That gets caught up and carried away
In the musty breeze of autumn
As leaves crackle beneath my feet.
Remember, remember...
I can't.
Death of character has taken you away.
And character for some
Picked piece by piece
Is what a mother hopes
Will accumulate and gather
Raising her son into a man.
Fractured.
For you this did not occur
And the failure of this
A sadness so great
Days seem endless
For me your life destroyed.
Still I hold on
Because next year this time
I may have no need to hold on
And then, my second born, you are truly gone.
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