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9/3/2003-9/27/2009


We have been best friends a long time
You were my lover once
The six years I put into us
Just leaves me as a dunce

Sitting on a stool
Love's fool
Is that the way it's supposed to be
When a lover won't even live with me

I longed for you for so long
I cried in many a heartunes song
You never understood what I'm about
Now there is no more cry or pout

Left in me
For you to see
Because I had my fantasy
Whom was more a man to be

Nice enough to text me back
Picked up all the work you lacked
Felt unloved for oh so long
You think only I was wrong

While you lived with her for three years
While you wanted your freedoms my fears
Grew until they grew away
Now you do not even want me as a friend today

I will live
I will give
Just like I always do
I will be true

To those whom give a little back
Take my mouth and know the slack
Is all because I am old and tired
No longer beautiful and wired

Up on the sound
Of your car coming around
Just to sit and give me no joy
I am sorry I have lost it boy

That is the way it has to seem
The way my crazy attitude will bring
No men to me
No sex set free

As I am hot when I am loved
But only God loves me above
The way he planned me from your rib
Is maybe all the glorious glib

To work on a fantasy
To help get a divorce for me
God is the only man in my life
Who even cares I want to be a wife

To someone who can put up with anger
He is not untruthful or a stranger
When I am stranger than them all
The only man whom always answers my call

And is not a man
Or maybe I won't ever understand
What it is I think I will find
If some man would marry me and be kind

So I will go on
I have been gone
For so long anyway
That I am sorry
But I will not grieve for you today

I have my own life to contend to try
I cannot keep going on with a nice guy
If he doesn't want our thing to grow
So remember that when you feel low

Because I do not
I am caught
In my kids and grand-kids and friends
Where the love for me doesn't end

Because of my dogs
Or my blogs
Because I am just not good enough to marry
I guess as for many years now I will carry

The part of me that could be better
If some man wrote me a love letter
Confessing how he cannot live without me
Even though he will eventually get back to free

I am not that bad
I can be laughing and glad
But only when I feel I am wanted
Or otherwise I will just be haunted

By the things you say you cannot give
Well I am broken and I live
In a fantasy
Where I think someone will help me

Because God made me for a man
I believe there is a plan
Out in this world twirling 'round
That will eventually surround

The part of me that is broken
Will be filled and words are spoken
About how I am important in his life
Important enough to be a wife

Or at least a live-in lover
Until then be mom, grandmother
And be happy
Because life can be cr@ppy

Or complete
If your minds meet
Somewhere there beyond reason
It's almost Fall and I am not falling all this season.


9/27/2009 1625PDT cj







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