"People talk about being depressed when they really mean they're feeling low, p!ssed off, under the weather. They don't know what depression is. Real depression is something else. It's when you haven't got anything, when everything goes -- wants, needs, will, caring, hope, desire. Don't make me laugh -- desire! It's when you can't make decisions anymore, any sort of decision, like, shall I get up out of this bed and go to the bathroom or not? Or, shall I pick up this cup of tea and drink some or shall I just go on staring at it? It's when you don't want anything and can't do anything and don't even want the opposite of not wanting anything, whatever that is, and haven't got anger or fear anymore, or even panic.
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And that's not the worst of it. You get deeper in. You get to the place where you can't see colors or hear people speaking to you and inside your head is something that washes around when you move. It's water in there, a sink of it, dirty water with oil floating on the top in those rainbow rings. That's the only color left that you can see, the rainbow circles of the oil on the dirty water slurping around inside your head."
-- Barbara Vine, "GallowGlass"
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