Would you care if I died?
Do I care
Would it show?
This ghost that I'm fighting but why I don't know
I'm not sure who I am and unsure that I care
All that I'm sure of are the scars that I bear
The only thing real is the blood on my wrist
This blood on my wrist and the death in my dreams
My pulse says I'm living but that's not how it seems
Because most of the time I don't think I'm real
I'm Just trying my best to forget how to feel
Watching me bleed only proves I exist
As my thoughts run like rats, in the crypt of my brain
I'm wanting to cut me again, and again
To cut me
And to feel all the pain
That's when it's beginning to hurt
To know my life is draining away
I'm like golem assembled by quotes
A Hollywood set only in 2D
I'm that space which exists between a musical note
If you take them away, then there's nothing of me
It's how you perceive me and that's all I can be
I'm only alive whilst you think what I am
Echoes of lost parents' their names kept alive
If I sit very still then perhaps, I'll forget
I touch the world it didn't know I was here
Don't make a sound then there's nothing to fear
If I move lightly enough you won't know we met
Or If I tried very hard, I could disappear
If I killed that which I am
Should I be reborn once again
Would you care if I ran?
Or would you mind if I died?
Why can't you see how I'm hurting inside?
How can you be so foolish so blind?
I'm killing myself to fit into your mold
Come, look at me do you like what you find
I'm what you created
What you made real
I try to believe in all that I'm told
Don't know if I'm dead
I'm not sure if I feel
I'm not sure I exist independent of you
But know that I don't and wouldn't want to
Am I only the space that lies around you?
Would it hurt you so much to let me be free?
Would it hurt me so much to dare to be me?
Too many questions to which I can't reply
So many ways to forget how to die
Too many feelings when I can't even cry
Written by
Lowestoft & Suffolk
Writer & Poet
Copywriter UK 2022