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 Nightlightsky0626 Verses from a Poetic Heart

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NEWS: August 19, 2014  I have decided now is the time to follow a dream I have had for years......publishing a book of my life without people knowing it is me. Not that I am ashamed of myself but I know a lot of what is published can hurt people I love very deeply as it is the life I have lived through my eyes. So many things took place that I am remembering little by little that I had long since forgot. The brain's way of protecting my sanity perhaps? I am not sure if anyone would care to read it but its worth a shot. Thought about incorporating my poetry. Anyone who reads my poetry will be able to recognize it in my book and know it is not some stranger singing my song but it is me who is telling my story.  Things here at work are hectic once again but its good business is going so well. Sad to see a couple people let go as one was a long time friend and was here long before it ever became the company I now work for. I really don't care for  the way things went down but I am only but one person and it would not matter to them if they canned my ass right along with my fellow co-workers they let go. Sad.....the world used to be such a great place to be, now, it has become a very uncaring and cold world. It seems to get worse by the day. Kind of tough to handle when you have a soft heart and no one seems to understand why. I miss my grandson but I will be seeing him soon. He is getting so big and I can only hope that one day he will find my poetry website and see who his grandmother was. Maybe by reading all these memoirs he can get a feel for how who I am and how much I love him. I don't want to be like those other grandparents who only get to see their grandchildren once in awhile, I want him and I to be close and for him to know that even though I am poor now, I will always love him and give him what he may not get from others, my love and devotion to being his grandma. Hunter Thomas Hickerson, grandma loves you so very, very much with all my heart. NEVER forget that. :-)  February 4, 2014 After an eventful weekend with traveling three hours to see my grandson, I return to work on Monday only to have a busy week started, Its good we are so busy but I miss the time to breathe at work. Makes the days go by too fast. Time is fleeting as they say and it seems like the older I get, the faster time moves. The traces of my age are beginning to show on my face and body. I can't remember what the "young" me even looked like much anymore. I am a grandma but really do not want to look the part. My back bothers me alot, especially during these last couple of months with this being the worst winter in over 20 years. Its been so cold and we have had so much snow. I am so looking forward to spring which is coming someday I hope. I have finally healed my heart from the wounds my ex caused and I am happier now than I have been in such a long time. They say it takes time and it is true, I feel more alive now than I did before I finally left that bad situation. I was dead inside for so long I almost forgot what being alive was really all about until now. I think the birth of my grandson helped and the Great Spirit knew what I needed to heal. I thank him for it all because without him above, I would not be where I am now. I can only pray that my son and my daughter both find the kind of joy and happiness I have freely embraced. Now to enjoy the rest of my life without anymore heartache, pain, anger or hatred controlling my emotions and my thoughts. I can only pray for the strength to forgive he who hurt me so bad and wish good things always for him. I have a couple of times but I have had to force myself to do it., God knows I was not easily able to do it and in someways, he knew at the time I did it, that I didn't mean it. I should have, I know. Its a part of me that I have tried to let go and its taking its time leaving my brain. *Sigh* Someday I will and then I will be able to quit pretending my ex doesn't exist and is not real to make it through the days. I have come so far and will keep going until time doesn't allow me to anymore. January 20, 2014 Did you ever wish you were someone else just so you wouldn't have to deal with the reality of your own life? Most times I love being me, others, I wish I was someone else. I think we all feel that way at one time or another. I just sit back and remember that God made me the way that I am for a reason and I will never be someone else. Its a thought I can live with even on my most dark of days. Went and brought home my best friend of over 28 years from the airport this last weekend. She has bravely battled breast cancer over the last decade. Hard to imagine life without her even if she does drive me crazy at times. Am happy she is finally home and I know she is also. Was great reunion being there at the airport when she come in. One of my other best friends and I went to pick her up. Had a great night together just us girls hanging out and catching up. So many years have gone by, wishing things had gone differently and wishing her time wasn't as short as it is. If I could trade places with her, I would just so she had all the time in the world that she would ever want. Its just not right. Many of the women who have faced this awful disease or who have died from it do not deserve what they have had to endure. Well, all I can do is be there as much as I can for her and do what I can to make sure she leaves us with good memories to take with her to the next life.   Time is always too short and a luxury we don't have. November 29, 2013 My firstborn grandson has arrived!! He was born 11/25. I was getting ready to go to work at 6:30am and my son called and said I needed to take a trip down to where Hunter was going to be born, I immediately squealed after I got off the phone with him and left to drive for an hour and 15 minutes to where the birth would take place. Once I got down there I was anxious waiting for his birth.  But it was the most exciting day of my life as Hunter came into our lives. He is an adorable little blessing and this Grandma loves him so much. I reflected back through all the trials and tribulations I have faced in my life, most were self-inflicted and others were the reality of the world and all its naked harshness. This last mistake.......I knew what was happening and what was going to happen but I went along with it anyways. Just another "dumb" mistake I decided to allow myself to experience. Maybe I felt I deserved it and that was the reason why i kept going back even when my brain and my heart both yelled loudly "DON'T DUMBASS!!!  YOU KNOW HOW THIS IS GOING TO END AND YOU ARE BEING USED AND TOLD ONLY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, ARE BEING LIED TO AND YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!!"  Yup, that was an understatement. Now the nightmares have finally ceased and I am once again able to focus more clearly on those things I never seen before. Its an awesome feeling that those horrible nightmares are forever gone. Now I get to concentrate on my life as it should have been before the nightmare began. Being a grandma is my new adventure and I am looking forward to the times and memories I get to make. I feel like God has blessed me more than I deserve. He took me away from people that he did not want allowed near my grandson and now I know why things worked out like they did. He did not want my grandson exposed to that kind of people to keep him from becoming a horrible person like all of them are. God did what had to be done and tried to warn me from day one and I did not listen with much regret. I am eternally grateful for the grace of God keeping my grandson safe from the badness of those horrible people.I was actually able to allow myself, last night as I said my prayers, to pray for good things for the ones in my nightmares. It has taken alot of courage and strength for me to finally be able to do that. I cried during this time of praying as I could not believe I was finally able to do that. It is the one thing I have been praying for is the ability to forgive and not wish death upon my enemies anymore. I finally accomplished another goal of mine and I did not do it alone. i owe it all to the Great Spirit above as I would NEVER have been able to do that on my own. My heart and mind are opening more and more since my grandson has been born. Those people will never know the hell they put me through, nor will they ever care what they did. But God remembers and will deal with them accordingly. I have no worries about that. I am just thankful to him above that I was finally able to wish good things for them all. Part of me still does not feel any of them deserve it but it is not my place to say if they do or if they do not. That is what I handed over to God to deal with.   November 22, 2013, The anticipated arrival of my first blood related grandson has me excited about the coming years ahead. Seeing him grow as the years go by and realizing that I am not as young as I used to be, I am going to be a grandma. Something I never thought I would live to see. The days are getting easier as the nightmarish memories I once faced are fading day by day. I still face leftover feelings but I push them aside as quickly as I can. I hate the man who hurt me, am still waiting for Karma to kick him in the balls. I know I shouldn't hold a grudge but it is something I have a hard time letting go of when someone hurts me very badly. He has no idea the agony he caused on me nor will he ever care or be sorry for and that is something I am learning to accept all the time. It was a mistake I tend to never repeat ever again. The man I am with again (who is now, thanks to the previous a#$hole, my ex husband) is a very loving, complimentary and trustworthy individual, I cherish him. I was ignored for so long by the other that its hard to get used to being loved and cared about. Intimacy seems to be a scary thing for me still and I have a hard time allowing myself to get close again to my exhusband (who is now my boyfriend), I should never have been so ignorant and stupid and left him. I should have stayed where I belonged. I kick myself in the ass every day for what I did. I know the grudge I hold is not just against the a#$hole who hurt me, but against myself too for allowing him to do to me what he did and take me away from where I should have stayed. We are all human right? No one is perfect. I just know that it will NEVER happen again. July 22, 2013 Well I am at work and it has been pretty busy. It is lunchtime so here I sit eating my TGI Friday's Cheddar and Bacon Potatoe Skins. I have been spiritually awakened by searching and seeking out my family roots from the Cherokee within me. I have a mourning dove that calls to me in the morning and early evening. I answer back by using my hands to call the bird. It seems this speaking to one another is a good omen as I have been told by an elder of the Native American family. I still long to learn of the old ways and know the stories that were taught to my people. Someday I hope to visit Battle of Little Bighorn site and Wounded Knee. I am somewhat afraid to go to Wounded Knee after a dream I had about being there. I could see dead bodies of women and children and warriors laying all around dying and their spirits calling out to me. I was crying and seem to be the only one able to see them as my boyfriend was unable to see what I was seeing. I then seen my ex boyfriend dressed in a blue uniform sitting atop a horse laughing at me and when I told him it was because of people like him that this happened he laughed at me again and said it was much deserved. I was so angered I tried to run to him to kill him but was stopped by the spirits of the dead saying it wasn't my battle and that soon the pain would be taken away. I woke up hating the other heritages I carry within my blood and wept for the Native American Lakotas who were slaughtered so horrifically during that time. It is amazing how deep the need goes inside of me to want to be a part of this noble people. I do not care if I am treated like them, I only wish to be one of them and be accepted completely and wholeheartedly. I am also amazed at how strong of a will I have thanks to being in touch with my Native American heritage. I am able to concentrate on better things and the anger I once had is slowly leaving my troubled spirit. The more guidance I seek, the less it is there. I still have things to work on as I am having a hard time letting go of the hatred and anger I still have for my ex but it is getting easier and easier all the time. Wa'do to all my friends and family. Thank you all for being here. June 25, 2013 Life has steadily gotten back to normal. It has been a long haul but I am doing better day by day. I received an email on my last day of tax season from a woman who said she was a friend of the woman my ex cheated on me with. I kinda knew he was by the way he was treating me but hoped I was wrong. Well, at least now I know all he said was a lie to me. Its nice to finally know and it has been something that has been a little hard to get over. Day by day I am reminded of the little things he did and remind myself over and over it was all some big joke to him. I turned him down twice in high school when he asked me out. This is a subconscious revenge on his part. I should have followed my instincts when he first started talking to me after his wife passed away from cancer. I feel sorry for her. I don't know how she did it with him all those years and I understand why she left him over and over again, but I don't understand why either of us were stupid enough to keep taking him back. I wish she was alive so I could ask her if he ever did to her what he did to me. It would be interesting to know the "REAL" reason why they split up so many times. But anyways, I have a new job that I absolutely love. The days seem to be alot better with working and knowing I am better off where I am at. I kick myself all the time for not staying where I truly belong. My heart is healing more and more day by day and I am learning I am alot stronger than I gave myself credit for at first. He beat me down so mentally that I lost all faith and confidence in myself. I am gradually getting that all back. I have a man who truly loves and cares for me, who won't ignore me for days on end when I do something he dislikes, I can be friends with who I want, go where I want and be myself without having to feel like I have to seek his approval. He is easy to love and to want to do things for also. He has changed since I last knew him. Life is so much better. I don't have to worry about being rejected or feeling like I am nothing in his eyes. He is amazing to me now! I know things won't always be perfect with him but at least we talk and work through our differences and he has supported me during my "rough" time after my last breakup. I would be lost with him. He has been there for me when no one else has. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I love him so very very much. I just pray that God gives me the strength to forgive this other man and gives me the ability to forget we were ever a part of each other's lives. I pray all the time for that. Everyday seems to be easier and I am forgetting more and more all the time. I just want it all to be gone. Tomorrow is my birthday and I plan to make a pact with myself to never mention the other man's name off my lips nor allow myself to think of him at all. I just hope I can. March 18, 2013, Well, I am officially back home where I belong. These last two years with the wrong man seemed like such a waste of time. WTH was I thinking? I was dumb enough to take him back three times. I know I won't be that stupid ever again. Three strikes, you're out buddy!! SEE YA! WOULDN'T WANNA BE YA!! He played all sorts of head  and guessing games with me and then get mad at me when I did the same to him, who the hell do you think taught me jack ass? DUH!! He also hated answering any questions and I wouldn't have asked but he seemed to hide information on purpose. He would completely ignore me as if I never existed there in the house. I used to do everything like cooking, cleaning, laundry, cleaning up their messes because they knew I would and without ANYONE'S HELP....and he got mad because I stopped doing all of them when I got tired of being used.   The only time he ever wanted anything to do with me or acknowledged I was there was when he wanted sex, but shortly after that he would go back to the same bullcrap. I had to get away, I couldn't take it anymore. He also kept accusing me of wanting to have sex with my guy friends or them wanting to have sex with me and I had to get rid of my male friends to make him happy but I found he wasn't satisfied by just that. He felt he had to have full control over me in every aspect and when I refused and rebelled against him, as he was NOT my master, father, husband or keeper, he hated me more and started pulling all these shit tricks on me to get me to cry and hate myself just so he could get me to do what he wanted. It was a nightmare. He will deny all this because he doesn't see what he did as being anything wrong. He sees himself in an innocent light. I swear on my own life I will NEVER be with another man like him ever again. He lied three times to get me back by making empty promises and he broke them as well as my heart. I cannot believe I was dumb enough to give him so many chances. No one else has had that many and he was not worthy of the ones I gave him. This last time he got me to come back I did it more out of obligation and because I felt like I owed it to his daughter to come back because she has a mom who could care less if she lived or died. I at least treated her with kindness and respect which is more than either of them did for me. But now its time for a better life, I am back home and I am happier and more at ease and more at peace with myself and the direction in which my life goes from here. Sorry for the rant everyone. I just hate how some men treat women like shit and get away with it. I hope he remembers that Karma is a b-word and will get even with him for all he has done to me. January 28th, 2013 I cannot believe its been so long since I published anything on this site. I do apologize for not updating this more. It is that time once again and tax season is upon us. Things are still crazy but I know with the power of God on my side, I can make it through anything. I am once again working as a tax professional at H+R Block and I am loving it already again. This is my favorite time of the year as I get to see previous clients and get to know new ones as well. I hope everyone had very happy holidays. Take care and God Bless. April 17, 2012 Tax Season is almost over with and I am happy to see it come to an end. It has been a very challenging year for me so far. My thought today was this..... we all have a favorite color, Have you ever stopped to wonder what God's is? April 2, 2012 Ok so here I am at work and there is nothing to do except think. If it wasn't for the idea that I am getting out at 6pm, I would fall asleep. This week is going to be long and boring. I work as a tax professional and this year has been too slow. Not quite sure if its the economy or people just getting tired of being overcharged to have their tax returns completed with us? I think we charge way too much but what do I know?  I am not the CEO of this company nor do I understand why they do as they do so I just have to go along with the program. Still been thinking about the person who used to be a friend and wondering why she was so dumb and left her husband and her kids behind to move to another state to be with another man? Am sorry but even if you lost that much weight and looked better, you still have an ugly personality which makes you very unattractive to those who are able to see right through your fakeness. A beautiful face or body doesn't make a person beautiful. Its what is truly inside that counts. I had to learn this one the hard way. Seems like she would have learned how not to treat people by my examples. But I guess she ignored that because she is just as selfish and insecure as I used to be. Amazing because I used to think I was beneath her and others until I realized I am equal to her and everyone else around me. Yes, I was a horrible person but must be she decided I was still horrible because she still chose to make up stories and twist people's words around, blame it on me and then walk all over everyone else trying to prove her innocence to people who had become wise to her ways. She lost a few friends because of what all she did to me. I guess, sucks to be her. OK, am gonna get mean now:  At least some of us can lose weight naturally, didn't allow ourselves to get that big to begin with by using food as a comfort for a life you had control over all along and then blame and hate others for your misery. Its called self-respect ya moron! I realize that people gain weight due to problems with their bodies or because of medications but when you outright blame others for your weight gain after stuffing your face on purpose with food because you find comfort in it, dont be blaming those of us who arent as huge as you are by the time you are done gorging your body with your gluttony. YOU have control over yourself, YOU have the ability to control yourself but you have to WANT it bad enough. I have gained weight over the years but I blame myself, not everyone else, for making me do it. Its my own damn fault. I am the one who eats sweets and doesn't exercise. I don't find comfort in food, nor alcohol nor drugs, I am comfortable in my own skin, accept and forgive myself for my faults and figured I punished myself for years for dumb things I used to do. I have a weakness for sweets but am making my own attempts at dieting without killing myself or setting myself up to fail. The mind is a very powerful thing that people have no clue how to use. Think about it, if you sit there and keep constantly telling yourself that you are sick, you will eventually begin to feel the effects of being physically sick. If you tell yourself you cant do something, you are right, because you convinced yourself that you cant and therefore you won't be able to do it. If you tell yourself that you can and that you are not sick, you won't be sick (unless its something other than a cold, bronchitis, or flu). Your mind is so powerful that you can trick your body into believing that you are not sick and that you can do something you never thought possible before. I am NOT saying you can cure cancer with your mind but you can control the level of your pain, the amount of times you become ill and your own ability at making yourself happy. Its hard to concentrate but its something that helps if you are going to make a wholehearted attempt at controlling the effects on your body and mind. I used to tell myself "I can't be sick, I am not allowed to be sick, I am a mom and moms are not allowed to be sick." Amazingly enough, if I repeated this several times (along with dousing my body with Vitamin C (Hawaiian Punch) and water) I didn't get sick. I control my levels of pain now through tricking my mind. I got my first tattoo and at first it hurt like hell but that was only because I was concentrating so hard on the pain that I didnt take the time to block it. I finally got my mind distracted and it wasn't bad after that. Its all a matter of using the power of the mind over the body. Only YOU can make a conscience choice on how bad things are going to be for you. March 08, 2012 Well, its been a long time again. I have been so busy with work and have finally had the nerve to leave my former life behind and begin anew. It is a strong reminder of how life changes us and everyone and everything around us. I still cannot believe it has been a year since I was last on here. So much to catch up on and so many new poems to write. I am amazed by the changes here on Poetry Poem.com website. Now I have to learn it all over again. I hope the year has been good to all my friends and I will try to keep in contact more. Take care and God bless you all. February 11, 2011 Hard to believe it has been almost two years since I wrote an entry into my news page. I do apologize for the delay in communication. It has been crazy here. I working two jobs and going to school part time. I have little time to breathe and even less time to do homework. My kids are grown and out of our home now so the "empty nest" syndrome has not hit just yet. I am hoping things will settle down in the near future. I thank anyone who has been coming to my page to see if I have posted anything new and I am sorry I haven't had anything new until now. Take care everyone and God Bless. July 29, 2009 There are so many things in my life that make me happy. My friends whom take the time to understand who I really am and allow me to do the same in return for them are what makes my life what it is today. So many of my friends have influenced me in one way or another and I have sadly lost friends in the process. Without an understanding as to why people do as they do to others, it saddens me deeply that people miss out on so much with each other. Our time on this earth is so short and why people can be so malicious towards each other confuses me at times. We never know when we are going to lose someone close to us or one of our friends so why all the aggravation? I know that not everyone can get along and often wonder if its their intolerance and being unwilling to accept each other for who we really are that causes the ruination of our friendships. People change everyday and every year we all become wiser to our past mistakes. We live, we learn and we change. The whole world is in a constant state of change and we are always changing with it. We need to find a way to stop all the hatred and see people and the world in a different light. We are always seeing something bad in someone, something or in another part of the world. If the human race would view things in a more positive light, then maybe things would begin to become better and there would be less hatred. I know, I know, maybe I am dreaming BUT its all about changing our views of each other and of the world. Think about all the little things we take for granted everyday. Most people have the ability to see, hear, smell, touch, talk and taste. Some people do not have that luxury in their lives. The ever changing seasons where the leaves turn different colors and fall to the ground, then the snow comes, all life goes into a frozen state. But the minute Spring begins to arrive, the bugs and animals come out of their frozen slumber, the leaves once again grow on the trees and the grass and flowers flourish once more. The intricacies of everyday life take shape and the wildlife are again active and busy planning for the following winter months. The birds who fly south for the winter do not ask why, they just do it. They arrive once again when the weather warms up and go south when its their time to go. We want people to appreciate us and love us (regardless of the ones who say "I don't care.") They do care deep down inside because if they had no one, they would wish for someone to be there just to say HI or keep them company. We are not destined to be alone, but we are destined for being companions to each other and this is the way I see my friends and how they hopefully view me. We find those whom we share common ground with and learn from those who we have nothing in common with. Too many emotions get in our way of keeping and cherishing our friends. Its hard sometimes to allow others to get too close to you for fear of being hurt or disappointed once again but we have to take a chance once in awhile and allow that to happen. If you think hard enough about it, we take a chance everyday when we walk out our doors or get out of bed in the morning. We could die that day from a fall, hit by a car, get in a car accident, or some other freak accident could happen. We become only a memory for someone else who knew us and who loved us deeply whether they are our friends, relatives, spouses, children etc.... We should cherish every day we have with our friends and families for that day could be their last day also. I have a few requests from my family and friends for when I do die (which, hopefully will not be for years and years and years to come): I want them to all to spend more time with those whom are alive and get to know more people and truly see them for who they really are, accept the bad with the good forgive those whom they feel have wronged them, and appreciate those who are the loves of their lives. This is all I want for them all. It may not be easy, it never is, but the time is now. To say "I love you," means you have to REALLY actually love them and show compassion, loyalty and faith. All those whom we want to be our friends or who we are related to no matter what their faults may be deserve to have the same chance as what we do. Ok, I am done ranting now. Enjoy your day. *smiles* January 19, 2009 Hello everyone!! Sorry it has been almost five months since everyone last heard from me. There have been too many things going on and too little time to do them all in. I am back to work for H+R Block as a Tax Professional again. I am also attending college classes at Baker College going for my Bachelor's degree in Accounting. My schedule is crazy and I have little to no time to myself between work, school and family. Hope everyone had a great new year and will let you all know how things are going for us. Take care, Until then, keep reading poetry. Someday we may all be famous!! September 30th 2008 Well, my son decided not to go to that job in Six Lakes as they are not hiring, so he has decided to join the military (Army). I am scared to death, he has already passed his ASVAB (military entrance test) and will be going in here soon to have his physical but can anyone please tell me if they have ever heard of the Army (or any other armed forces) accepting someone to basic training who has psoriasis? My son has it and quite a lot at that but I am not so sure he is actually going to be able to get into the military. If anyone hears, let me know. Hope you all are doing good!! Love to all my poetry friends. September 14th, 2008 I am currently looking for a publisher and/or an agent. It is hard to know who is for real and who just wants money or is running scams. Beware out there people. There are a lot of places that promise you fame and fortune for your works of poetry but they are only looking to make a quick buck. Lots of research on a perspective publisher, agent etc.. is the best thing to do before committing with a company. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Take caution and protect your works. You have worked hard so do not let anyone take that away from you. Take care everyone!! August 24th, 2008. Hello everyone. In case anyone wants to know, I have my own My Space now. You can find me at www.myspace.com/nightlightsky0626. I will accept friends who are into poetry but only want to be friends as I am married and happily so please no perverts, psychos etc......Thank you and hope to talk to you on myspace. August 18th, 2008 I am happy to say, MY MOM DOES NOT HAVE CANCER!! WHOOOOHOOOOO!!We thought she did but she does not and I am so very thankful to Jehovah God for that!! August 5, 2008 I am starting back to college the end of September to finish my Bachelor's degree in Accounting. We found out my mom has cancer but do not know the extent of it yet. I will write more when I know. I am only three poems shy of a book to be published and have written three more since this whole ordeal with my mom. My family is doing ok other than this and I am anxiously awaiting the day when the whole world will see my poetry and hopefully enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I have been in touch with many friends from high school through my myspace webpage so this is a good thing too. Hope you all are doing good and if you want you can e-mail me at nightlightsky0626@yahoo.com. Love to all my poetry family and friends!! July 16th, 2008 My son graduated from high school. We are so very proud of him. If any of you want to see pictures you can go to www.myspace.com/nightlightsky0626. The open house was a lot of work but worth it for my son!! Now its off to a job for him in Six Lakes. Hope everyone is doing good and why is everyone afraid to sign my guestbook? Please sign it!! October 2, 2007 Well, everyone I just had a night with a Beatles tribute band. Their name is The Yellow Submarines. They were awesome!! I got to sing Yellow Submarine with them and wore a "Beatles" wig and played the kazoo. It happened last Saturday night at the Ovid Carriage Days festival that we have once a year in our little village here in Michigan. I got called up on stage because they seen that I was really enjoying the show. I LOVE the Beatles and it was so wonderful to be able to sing a song that I know so well. I hope everyone is doing good. Take care and I will write more soon. Love to all. November 27, 2006 Well, this is late but we will be appearing on Inside Edition tonight (I just recieved my e-mail from Scott Phillips.) Sorry this is so late they just told me today. October 9, 2006, I just want to let everyone know that my son and I are going to be appearing on Inside Edition soon. We are being interviewed tomorrow so I will let you all know when and what time it is going to be aired. Love to you all September 19, 2006 Hello Everyone, Sorry I have not written for awhile, it has been busy busy busy, I have been taking tax courses through H and R Block and have been having fun doing that. Also I start back to college at Baker on September 25th, so hopefully I will be able to write more then. Take care and God bless. August 31, 2006 I apologize for those who have visited my website lately and have not seen new news. I have been extreamly busy with my best friend of 23 years who, sadly, has found out that she has breast cancer (she is only 35 years old), so I have been taking her to doctor's appointments, staying with her in the hospital for 8 hours while she had a masectomy and reconstruction, also I have been taking care of her son while she has been recovering for the last two weeks. I also have started tax preperation classes for H and R Block this week. I go back to Baker College on September 25 so I will be updating my site often. I have written two new poems that I hope you will enjoy! I also have to make time to speak with "Inside Edition" because of an unfortunate incident that happend last year between my son and another teen boy. To make a long story short, my son went to a Skatboarding park with a friend while we were at my cousin's wedding reception, I recieved a phone call from his friend saying that Michael had just been in a fight, well, needless to say, it was videotaped by some kids down at the skatepark and put on the internet. For those of you who are wondering, both boys beat each other pretty good charges were filed and my son pleaded not guilty becaue he tried to walk away several times even telling the kid he did not want to fight him and that he was just there to have fun (this is based on talking to his friend who seen the whole thing that day as I talked to him without my son around to get the whole story), regretfully, he ended up having to defend himself. Another twist to this incident is the kid whom my son had to fight was my dad's girlfriend's nephew. You can imagine the problems that caused!! Anyways, Scott Phillips from Inside Edition (television show out of New York) wants to come and interview us now and bring this into light for those who may not know what is happening at these parks. It is becoming a serious social problem and no child is safe anymore anywhere. Any disbelief in what I am saying will be proven accurate when I put onto this website the day and time of our interview. Until then, keep your kids safe and yourselves mentally prepared to defend your kids at any given moment, provided they really are innocent. July 14, 2006 Well, I have added a new addition to our family, she is a chihuahua(?) and beagle mix puppy about little over two months old (an anniversary present from my hubby) Her name is Princess and she is a little brat most of the time. She terrorizes her brother (our other dog Johnathan)and she is just the cutest thing!! Now we have four cats and two dogs. I am sending my manuscript to my agent and hoping for a sale, but none in this industry is promised and I am hoping for a miracle. I will keep you all informed if there is any new developments with this!! Take care everyone!! June 21, 2006- I have recently signed a contract with The Poets Literary Group for the next six months, I will hopefully be getting my first book of poetry published in one to two years if they are not able to sell my work right away. They are legitimate and if anyone has any information on their company, I would greatly appreciate any input!! Also, The Best Poems and Poets book came out this week published by the International Library of Poetry, I have a poem in this book entitled-Teen Troubles. I have a poem that is going to be published by League of American Poets coming out in the Fall of 2006. I also have one coming out in the summer published by Noble House Publishing in a book entitled "Songs of Honour". The title of the poem is "Is it Really My Time?" The International Library of Poetry has asked me to publish one of my poems also and I will let you know when I get more details on that one. It has been an exciting time and I would like to connect with others and hopefully make a difference in someone's life for a change. I want to let others know that I understand some of the things they go through and wish them all well and that I would be there for them personally if I could. It is not easy living in this time period. So many adversities and so little solutions. But how we manage to get through them without becoming killers, rapists, racists etc is by doing what we can to prevent us from falling into the same scenerios as those who maliciously ruin the lives of others. Fighting the urge to retaliate the pain is never easy but if we lean upon our own understandings, we make mistakes, if we lean on the understanding of a loving, forgiving and merciful God we each gain a wisdom that will be unmatched by anyone else. May Jehovah be with all of you.

ABOUT: Hello Everyone!! Thank you for visiting my website! I remember sitting in a classroom in middle school when I heard my first poem (one that I actually paid attention to) by Edgar Allen Poe. I was so intrigued by his poetry that I began to research other poets like Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas, and Thomas Wolfe and later in life I became intrigued by Maya Angelou's poetry. I attempted to experiment with my own skills in writing, never getting anyone to critique them. I hid them for a long time before finally getting rid of them after I graduated high school because I was afraid of what people would think of me. I later started writing poems again when things seemed hopeless and it helped me to vent my stress onto paper. I have not stopped writing poems ever since then and have met many other poets like myself. I was able to read one of my poems to a support group for the victims at a RAVE meeting with a positive response to my poetry. I have put together my own poetry website and I have had a lot of positive feedback on them. I have a friend who is a well-known poet in France whose name is Athanse Vantchev De Thracy and he has become a dear friend and an honest critic of my poetry. I have over 50 poems so far and would like to write more but have to be inspired to pen new works. You can e-mail me at: nightlightsky0626@yahoo.com. I am soooo excited to have my own web-page for my poetry. I am originally from Ionia, Michigan and love to write poems. I have been secretly writing poems since I was about 13 (a secret revealed as no one knew this before now)and unfortunately I have thrown away all of my older poems. I have two children, both grown and on their own. I have two dogs and I work and go to school along with writing poetry. Sometimes it takes me only ten minutes to write a poem and other times it takes me a couple of months. With today's society being as greedy and selfish as most of them tend to be, I found a way to deal with my anger towards them and found it to be quite mentally stabilizing. I used to have a bad temper but through the help of God and my studies, I have been able to rewire my brain into acknowledging my anger and then writing down my thoughts. This has helped so much and now my poems are my outlet for my anger, pain, self-doubt, hatred of injustice and other common things we see in society today. I hope you enjoy my other poems as much as I have enjoyed writing them. I get new ideas all the time, as we all do because of so much adversity hitting us day and night. All it takes is being inspired from reading or hearing something bad from the news or seeing an injustice happen to someone I care about or going through my own personal hell. Regardless of what I do or what happens, God is there to calm me down and help me to get back on track. I do have a question though, why is it that when something bad/drastic happens to people, we are all there to help, but when there is nothing major going on, we ignore one another? Hmmmmm. Anyways, when bad/or emotionally moving things happen, I become inspired to write, with or without the approval of anyone. When the mood hits me, I jot down my thoughts on paper now, eventually, it becomes a poem. I have been inspired quite often to write poems. My early past memories and experiences are part of my poetic accomplishments. The only one I have not experienced personally is the "WHY DADDY WHY" poem. That one was written by hearing stories told by children who have been victims of Domestic Violence. A very sad array of horror stories have been told by these children. So this idea was not my own personal experience but an experience of a child who was only 8 years old when her mother was murdered by her father one night. He thought she was sleeping through the whole thing, unfortunately she was not, she was so horrified at this that she did not speak for 6 years after her father was sentenced to life in prison. Finally, she faced her mother's murder and has become a beautiful normal functioning member of society. She even plans to go to college when she graduates from High School. She wants to be a family counselor for domestic abuse victims. She has spoken at many support group gatherings relaying her nightmarish experience. Her bravery is to be very much commended. Poetry is a way for not only myself, but others to express themselves, if no one is willing to read them or understand them, that is their own loss for not being able to closely examine the feelings behind the words. Some things are NOT better left unsaid as others have had similar feelings and experiences!! The key to understanding and empathy is walking millions of miles in another's shoes. Leave the judging to God.

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