The Lancean Specificity

And Life Goes On

In this my seeming afterlife persisting
Longer than I had intended to
Alternately accepting and resisting
Remaining I wonder what to do

Since death is a crisis I could ill afford
Betting it all one shot letting go
An agonizing stop to what is moving
A stop to the suffering even so

Stalling here I polish every word
In case someone reads what I leave behind
As my testimony to a dream deferred
Waiting for the time when I will know

Noting absurdly my body improving
Going to waste with my mind never mind
That Lutheran practicality
Noting all the exercise was not in vain

That promise of perfectibility
Toward which I could aspire to wait it out although
That could take awhile
Asks me what remains to be should I remain

I could stand to stall more if I waited in style
Alternately accepting and resisting
But fear goes out of fashion
When it comes to being gone

In this my seeming afterlife persisting
I am equally afraid to die as live but still
Death is a one time act of the will
But life goes on and on and on

And life goes on

+Steven Curtis Lance



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