Last election "2008" I ran for President
Born in the US with a birth certificate
Associate degree attended five colleges
Veteran, Army National Guard Air Force
Medical training at Great Lakes Naval base
I have also been to Hawaii, flew in a jet
I didn't have money for a big campaign
Silly me too proud to take government loans
I was still paying off student loans
I lost a close election to Barrack Obama
This year I was watching our Legislators
and Senators at work and I am not good at video poker.
But I would see what problems they were trying to solve.
Percy,his dog Nancy, and his partner Robbie,
were pushing for Gay marriage and wanting to find a cure for
Aids. This gave me the idea for the Nobel prize!
I was working on this when the second most
important things my Democratic controlled congress
had on their platform--You guessed it; to legalize drugs.
We can cure the addicted by giving them legal drugs!
How can you do those video games without the proper stimulants?
Tell all our kids drugs are legal and free to use.
That way the illegals do not have to ship their product.
Go through all that problem of shipping and the need of green cards
They could grow it right here in America
What an idea we can get rid of all those apple orchards
Plow in all the corn fields and grow drugs and grapes
Forget all those terrorists trying to kill us and grow marijuana
What I can't figure out is how you apply for a Nobel prize?
Do I have to get elected to Congress and learn to play video games?
A couple years in Congress and I can run for President again.
It would be public service now that I have a lifetime pension
and all my health care paid for life and it only takes four years
Why didn't I think of this earlier before working forty years
I could have saved all that money I paid into taxes and health care
I just haven't figured out the colleges to say I attended
Actually I well tease them a little and say I was born in Pakistan or Africa
No one checks these things out anyway and if the do the voters don't care
They listen to what their favorite actress or actor tells them
Soon as I am elected I well have a bill that give lifetime pension
To those young hero soldiers who lost a limb or two protecting us
I could save the money eliminating a Senator, legislator or two.
Make a law they have to sit at computers forty years or so for a pension
And at least have a budget to pay for their own pensions
As a start I well lay them all off and balance the National budget